That's it. Where did the Woman go again?I have no shame now. Complete misery.
I am sick today. Well, I was sick yesterday and the evening before that. So my weekend was pretty much ruined by my moaning and groaning about a cold. I hate being sick. I thought I could defeat it (Dear Sir says it is all my pride) by running on the treadmill to boost my immunity levels, but it did not work. So I guess I will run on the treadmill later to get better. I know, I am crazy. I just read somewhere that it helps.
I slept very poorly too. I had songs stuck in my head that I wanted OUT, and then I do the usual toss and turn, stuff the tissues up my nose and breathe through my mouth. I was hotter than Hades, burning it up beside Dear Sir. He is always on the too warm side, so he stayed clear of me. I think I had a fever. I was pretty much miserable. I woke up at all hours, and then I finally got to the hour of one in the morning and felt a hand on my back and it wasn't Dear Sir's.
There Eraser Eater was, his little skinny frame etched out by the moonlit window, saying, "Mommy, I don't feel right."
My conclusion was that he was hungry, so I had him pop a Pepto pill and pull a sleeping bag on my side of the bed on the floor. He was contented with that sure enough; he went right to sleep and then I tossed and turned the rest of the morning.
This got me to thinking about the mind and how it never turns OFF. Even in my sleep I know it is going on, I know it is saying words and thinking thoughts and I can't get it to quit. It is like when you are throwing up and all you can think about is the "Yellow Submarine" song stuck in your head that keeps playing over and over as your up-chuck soundtrack. You vow to yourself, I will never listen to the Beatles again! because you feel so wretched and the association is not good, but soon enough when you are feeling well you put good ol' Ringo back in the CD player and don't think about it ever again.
I just want the mind to turn off once in awhile. This would bring much pleasure, but then again, if the mind would be turned off, pleasure would not be felt. Ok, so maybe I wish that the mind could just focus on one or two things. If I could go through a night and just think about sheep jumping a fence that would be great, but in reality, I think about the grill being on, the house burning down, a stupid song that I hate, germs everywhere, and things that need to get done. When I am sick I think silly things like I am the person in the novel that I was just reading and I am saying her words over and over, or in a half sleep I keep thinking about how I am not sleeping well and how much snot can my nose really produce? Buckets full.
While sick, I actually sang a Keith Green song yesterday and accompanied myself on guitar during Communion. People said, "no one would have known you were sick by your singing voice!" but then I knew because I was so frigid in that blasted building (they keep it so cold) and the Sudafed I was taking makes it ten times worse so of course my pick slipped out of my hand creating a pause in the music but by some act of magic or Divine Intervention I caught the thing and carried on. I really, really hope I don't turn mute this time.