Listings and Dialogue

When shopping for a birthday gift today the Girl and I found Smurf stuffed animals. Incredible. 

I usually wake up in the morning wanting to go to bed already and then proceed to long for that step into bed all day long. Is that normal?

I ate two pieces of cheesecake yesterday but don't feel fat. I mean, I was sure to get on the treadmill, but I don't feel fat. That's good, people.

Once the election was over, Obama sent me a letter thanking me for voting for him. Wait. I think I already told you that before. Like I have also told you before, I am getting very old and forget stuff.

I did not vote for Obama.

My teeth are getting closer together and so the braces will be off in a few months. YES! No more eating on one side! 

Today I thought for some reason I was very wise when I said to my Oldest: "You will never control people; you can only control yourself." Then I shortly realized that I am an idiot.

I almost slipped and fell at a bowling alley today wearing my 12 year old boots. Well, I didn't have them when I was twelve, I've just had them for that long.

I think chocolate makes people very happy.

I love Titus Two's version of "Fly" by Sara Groves.

Yesterday I got raw chicken juice on my running shoes.

I have a guitar that is bigger and better than me.

I broke a humidifier a couple of weeks ago. It MELTED. I must say that I have broken many and that has never happened before.

I heard a sweet girl today get so excited about a Webkinz that she squealed so high-pitched she sounded just like a boiling tea kettle. Amazing. I did a double take. 

My Oldest, when corrected nearly the whole car trip home long, whimpered and put his head down in shame and despair. 

"This day is over," he said piteously.

"Oh but you will have chicken tacos for dinner!" I bellowed. 

"We shouldn't have chicken tacos for dinner! Good endings to bad days just isn't right!"

I rolled my eyes.

"I just like bad endings to bad days. Can't we eat something else?!"

Like what, a death cake? A dead body? A burnt up hog within a funeral pyre? Chilled monkey brains?

"I'm sorry, that's just really weird. We're having tacos, pal."


Of Late

On Tuesday we went to see the sights in D.C. with our niece from Idaho. That was interesting. We went to see the National Archives and saw The Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, and a copy of the Magna Carta (one of the four) some colonist had. I hate to sound ignorant, but it was pretty boring. The place was so dimly lit (for preservation purposes, I am sure) that to read anything was nearly impossible. You could practically take a nap in there. In fact, the security guard standing next to the Declaration was doing just that.

Next we looked at the White House and then went up into the Washington Monument. You know, that big masonic spear just smack in the middle of the city. It was pretty high up. I enjoyed seeing the National Cathedral (one of my favorite places) in the distance, northwest. The Professor did not go up as he is afraid of heights. I am a little afraid of heights, I guess. Once up on the top I felt pretty dizzy and wanted to go down. My sister in law already bolted so I was left with the kids and my niece, who was doing just fine. Eraser Eater started to pull stuff because he hadn't seen the north side of the monument and I was ready to puke and go to the elevator. "You get to see the north side and you get barf in your pocket," I said. He obeyed reluctantly.

We were going to go to the National Gallery of Art (where we frequent whenever we are in the city) but we happened to be walking by the Museum of Natural History and just went in there as time was running out. The Girl held all the available live insects in the insect section. The boys sort of ran the other direction and watched her from behind an exhibit. Even my niece held a worm, which is one of my room 101s. 

On a lighter note, this past week the Girl has been sick and I have been trying to avoid the germ, as Howard Hughes as I can get at times. At one point, my brain was so lacking one morning while waiting for my coffee to brew, that I accidentally drank from her pill-taking glass. In great panic I quickly gathered my wits and tried to think of a way to kill the now ingested germ. "Liquid disinfectant," I thought,"Rubbing alcohol---what can I drink? I can't drink that." My brain was only half functioning. 

Like lightning, I remembered that I had hard liquor in the upper cabinet above my head. I grabbed the first bottle I saw: bourbon from the sangrias I made at Christmas. I swiftly uncapped it and chugged. Ok, so it was in the morning and I almost puked. It burned slowly all the way down, and I imagine it would have burned all the way back up too! Foul stuff.

So far, I am fine. I guess that works, eh? 


Just one more thing. 

For most of my life I have let others run me. And I mean, the kind of people who prey on people like me because I have been a people pleaser. In many ways I could say that I have been my own problem, I just have gotten myself into the trap too many times to not find the common thread. 

But God changed it. He removed me from a particular situation into a new one. A fresh one. 

And I could assess. 

And a couple of years ago I ran into the same problem but with a different person. I cut it off. I let that "friendship" go. For good reason too. 

And now I have another right now. And each time I run into this type of person (manipulators), I can smell them from a mile off and I know that they are going to pull their tricks once they get an inch closer. 

And so it has happened. The ground, again, had to be stood. And they are pissed because they can't control me like they thought they could, because, I don't know, there is some spiritual sign on my head that says, "please control me, I like it."

Until I can get the sign off my head, I will not be able to ward off the manipulators. They like me A LOT. Instead, I have to keep telling them no, and they do not like that. AT ALL. 

Have I ever told you that I have probably had the telephone hung up on me about a thousand times? I don't even think I am exaggerating.