Listings and Dialogue

When shopping for a birthday gift today the Girl and I found Smurf stuffed animals. Incredible. 

I usually wake up in the morning wanting to go to bed already and then proceed to long for that step into bed all day long. Is that normal?

I ate two pieces of cheesecake yesterday but don't feel fat. I mean, I was sure to get on the treadmill, but I don't feel fat. That's good, people.

Once the election was over, Obama sent me a letter thanking me for voting for him. Wait. I think I already told you that before. Like I have also told you before, I am getting very old and forget stuff.

I did not vote for Obama.

My teeth are getting closer together and so the braces will be off in a few months. YES! No more eating on one side! 

Today I thought for some reason I was very wise when I said to my Oldest: "You will never control people; you can only control yourself." Then I shortly realized that I am an idiot.

I almost slipped and fell at a bowling alley today wearing my 12 year old boots. Well, I didn't have them when I was twelve, I've just had them for that long.

I think chocolate makes people very happy.

I love Titus Two's version of "Fly" by Sara Groves.

Yesterday I got raw chicken juice on my running shoes.

I have a guitar that is bigger and better than me.

I broke a humidifier a couple of weeks ago. It MELTED. I must say that I have broken many and that has never happened before.

I heard a sweet girl today get so excited about a Webkinz that she squealed so high-pitched she sounded just like a boiling tea kettle. Amazing. I did a double take. 

My Oldest, when corrected nearly the whole car trip home long, whimpered and put his head down in shame and despair. 

"This day is over," he said piteously.

"Oh but you will have chicken tacos for dinner!" I bellowed. 

"We shouldn't have chicken tacos for dinner! Good endings to bad days just isn't right!"

I rolled my eyes.

"I just like bad endings to bad days. Can't we eat something else?!"

Like what, a death cake? A dead body? A burnt up hog within a funeral pyre? Chilled monkey brains?

"I'm sorry, that's just really weird. We're having tacos, pal."


J said...


I just got my boots re-heeled (as opposed to re-soled) at the shoe guy for only bucks. Total.

I once doused myself with the juice from my tuna fish can while draining it in the teacher's lounge during lunch hour. No change of clothes. Smelly teacher.

Anne said...

Chocolate makes ME happy!

The Doozie said...

The chicken juice is concerning. There was a freak bowling death here in our area just a few days ago. Now congress is being pressured to ban bowling.

The smurfs are evil.

I always want to be in bed, I never want to get out of it. It is normal because everyone knows that I'm really normal ;)

Mother Mayhem said...

How did the raw chicken juice get on your running shoes? You didn't actually chase a chicken down for those tacos did you? Ick.

The Doozie said...

where are you...do I need to send officers to check on you?

Bee Repartee said...

Your posts always crack me up. And I too, hate chicken juice on my shoes...both runny.

haha. get it? RUNNY.

yeah...lame joke.

Anyway, I see you have comments nailed down like the life outside the bathroom guy. ~snort~ Are you trying to silence the people. Obama would not be proud.

Okay, I'm stopping now.

Laura said...

And I love any version of any song that you do. :-) Thanks for the nod. Yours, "Titus Two"

(shameless plug)