Putting It On

So I just finished a book by Wilkie Collins called Basil. I know none of you care. All I will say is it was a good read, a bit over the top, but nice and sensational. I will be moving on to The Frozen Deep. Sounds good, eh?

One of my band members told me that she considers pumpkin pie to be a breakfast food. I had never really thought about it before: the crust could be some sort of bread, there are eggs in the mixture along with a vegetable (pumpkin) and milk. Then, you can splurge and have some whip cream on top. I like it. I tried it this morning.

I have actually just this year started making pumpkin pies from scratch (no can). It has been a most pleasurable experience.

Apparently I am Frank. I am not putting a link to that, I am just putting that up here for your eyes, deary.
I know, you must think I have lost my mind.
I sort of have.

Yesterday, when on the phone with Dear Sir at his work, I told him my plans for dinner. "Oh," he said, "I was hoping I could skip dinner."

So I made pancakes for the kids and I had a glass of wine (to drown my sorrows) and some whole wheat tortillas and this rockin jalapeno and red pepper hummus. I guess my breath wasn't rockin though. Apparently no one wanted to be around me.

So, when Dear Sir said to me that he wanted to skip dinner, I told him, "Yeah, you've been putting it on there for awhile, it's about time you lose some weight." What I just said to my dear man is a long joke that we have had for years between one another.
This is how it started:

We were at my mother and father in laws house for dinner. I had just lost maybe 15-20 pounds. I am 5'5 and I was probably about 135-140 lbs. I was working on losing more, but it took me a bit longer than I anticipated. But, I guess 15 pounds is noticeable, so my father in law said to me:

"Hey, did you lose some weight? You look really good!" He is the most amazing man. Very jovial, very kind, and he always means well, bless his heart.

"Yeah, I have lost some weight, sure."

"Well, you have quite the discipline! I tell ya, you were putting it on there for awhile, but you have bounced back nicely."

I laughed at him and smiled, completely not offended.

When we got to the car, I told Dear Sir (he was not present during my interaction with his dad).

Dear Sir grabbed his gut and laughed most heartily and said, "He SAID THAT?! Wow." He proceeded to shake his head in mirth.

occasionally Dear Sir points at a picture in a picture album and says, "Hey, you were putting it on there for awhile!"

He would continue to tell me that that statement was preposterous, and I have nothing to fear. But I WAS putting it on there for awhile. No wonder whenever I was over there eating they would say, "Rachel, you look like you could use more potatoes..." as they would pass me the fare. "Oh, help yourself!" "Please, finish this off, I am sure you have room!"

Yeah, I've got lots of room, cuz I'm putting it on, right? I also was in the middle of having a few BABIES. Let's try nursing and eating a PEA for dinner. Not gonna cut it. I would die of hunger pains.

Well, I've got to go make popcorn now. Dear Sir swears that I am the best popcorn maker on the planet (gee, I just put butter and salt on it). I still really struggle to believe him. I think it is a trick to get me to do it. "But you make THE BEST!" He is sure to shout his hearty praise as he stuffs it in his mouth. I fall for it everytime. If you are especially bored, I have a lot of fun domestic jewels just like this (even a popcorn post) in the archives.


Funky-Redhead said...

Oh yeah, I saw that Popcorn compliment from a mile away! They are soo translucent...so why does it always work? LOL

Anne said...

So, do you make your popcorn in the pan with oil and kernals?

I used to say that kind of thing to HubbaHoney when I was pregnant with my son. I was craving chips and salsa all the time and he would make it from scratch. Every evening I would ask him to make me some because he "made the best ever."

Anonymous said...

If I put a piece of bologna (Yes, I was humming the Oscar Mayer song when I typed that word!), Bennie acts like it's ambrosia. I think hubbies are just like that... *Grin*

Here's the line I love... "She is a big girl... about your size!" *LOL*

Anonymous said...

You know, when you and Dear Sir first got married we all joked about how your good cooking was making him put on the weight. hehe

Badoozie said...

yes, the Frank joke is one of the oldest in the books, old, but good. so frankly frank, if i can be frank, i don't know what to say?

R said...

Anne---I make "whirly pop". It is some old fashioned crank thing (the air popper bit the dust a month ago) that my SIL gave Dear Sir for Christmas one year. It makes the best popcorn, but unfortunately, you have to burn calories while doing it. I am the one that ends up doing it because you know, I make the best popcorn. That is so nice your hubby would make you salsa from scratch. Yum.

Mrs. Moo--Men like the weirdest things. Bolongna. Yuck. My brother loves Brunswager or whatever you call that.
Men can also be brutal with what they say and not know it!

Alisa--If I could just COOK all the things I wish I could cook and he would be ready to eat them! Oh man! It would be wonderful to me! It has never been that way. Lots of times he rarely eats a fourth of his dinner and eats a bowl of popcorn instead. If it weren't for people saying that I am such a "good cook" I would think that I was a bad one! He only weighed 140 when we first got married. He looked almost sickly. For awhile there when I was pumping out children, we weighed the same. I am so glad I did not own a scale. The thought tortured me. He needed to gain some weight, actually. I just wish he would eat a burrito or something, gee whiz.

Susie---I just have not heard the old frank joke in a long time. It is starting to swim to the surface of the ol' archives---bear with me.

Frankly, I am freezing. Better go get a sweatshirt on.

Redneck Nerdboy! said...

"So I just finished a book by Wilkie Collins called Basil. I know none of you care."

Haha! That was excellent!