The Children are Breaking Down

Chess Club went well for the boys---they had a great time as usual. There is apparently another boy there with Eraser Eater's same name who cheats and lies. He happens to be the son of the guy who organizes and teaches the thing. Argh.

I got to know some of the homeschool ladies; that was nice. I have figured that I have to go up to these people and introduce myself regardless of my introversion. So that is what I did all night; I worked the stinking floor. This one lady was particularly nice. She was easy to talk to and helpful in answering any questions. I asked her which kids were hers, etc and she told me which ones were particularly interested in chess. I told her my Oldest is the chess freak. In fact, he is so proud about it, he needs to really learn some humility, the things he says. He has no mercy, is completely competitive, and uses words like, "crush, defeat, diminish, obliterate..." you get the picture. She had to laugh. I told her that last week he learned from the instructor on how to "unleash the Queen". Nice.

So, as we were talking about his sportsmanship, he comes up to me to inform me that he has won a game. He says to me in a sly way with one foot kicked over another and his hand pointing backward: "I came, I saw, I conquered."

I was a little mortified by my ten year old. Yet he is so predictable. He could draw a silly and poorly drawn picture and be proud of it saying that he could be a Van Gogh. It is his condition thing again. He doesn't exactly mean to be so vain. He has no idea that he is being so!


My daughter just walked in here to get my attention as she is attempting to get dressed. She is five. She wants me to get her some jeans but I am not responding because I am so stinking one track minded. She is standing right next to me pressuring me with a shirt extended before her in her hands as if to tell me that I need to get a match for it in the jeans. Quickly, she whips out the scissors on the computer desk and opens them up. She acts as if she is about to cut the shirt. "Now, if you don't get me some jeans," she says, "I will be forced to do this!"

What the heck?


shealyisnottheantichrist said...

Veni, Vidi, Vici...Tell him that his Aunt M. is very proud of him for doing so well in chess! I have never had the patience to sit and think ahead strategically to play a game like that. It is like my mind is just too LAZY to hold that many thoughts. Mr. Sinta is very good at that kind of thinking. It is a very valuable life skill to have.

EmmaSometimes said...

Forcing your children to mutilate jeans..hehe too funny..hmmm, my children have that book too! Coercing Your Parents With Ease in Two Easy Steps Without Hurting Your Five Year Old Person

Isn't that funny how Chess Club can get so competitive? Like the school is waiting to unleash the next Bobby Fischer?? That has to be frustrating though with Cheater E. Eater..what happened to good old fashioned sportsmanship?

R said...

Emma---Yes, it is so funny how Chess Club can be so competitive. It is very male, I must say.

I figure that Eraser Eater 2 (aka "Cheater Eraser Eater"---good one!) is the complete antithesis to Eraser Eater 1 (who is my son who really eats erasers and spits when he talks).

What is funny is that this is a homeschool chess club that meets at a high end grocery store's restaurant at night. I think my son came up with the word "unleash" on his own though; he is so "battle" minded. It is sort of disturbing. Last night when I walked by my son's new game with a girl, he immediately moved a piece and said, "Check." That girl was toast. Now I'm getting a little competitive (slap!).

Yep, the power of manipulation. They learn early because mom tunes out and says, "play!" They have to resort to holding items of clothing hostage.

Shealy--I think you are right about a valuable life skill that chess is. I don't have that valuable life skill either. I played one game of chess in my life and that was with Dear Sir and he plowed me over in one move. I had no idea what hit me and I said, "I am not playing this game." I will tell the Oldest that you are proud. He will most likely say, "Yeah, I bet she thinks I am the best kid who ever played chess!"

I can rename him on here Mr. Boast!? What do you think of that?

Funky-Redhead said...

I think with all this chess conversation you would be interested to know, that I started a home school chess club...My son knows how to play, I am the teacher...and I have no clue how to play!!! I forget from one lesson to the next how to do, what I already taught!I am so stupid! And you tell them once, and they NEVER forget! Why is that?

Funky-Redhead said...

Side note: I noticed that Carol doesn't have her writing tips published on her site yet. But, I got them by subscribing to sizzlebop. If you would like me to email them to you they are FABULOUS!

Badoozie said...

who is the manipulator in the bunch who taught her the fine art of coercion? thats funny. i think anyway....

my poor son, he is a repeator for sure. there have been many times he has embarrassed me with the things he blurts out in public. and me, hiding my head hoping people don't realize i'm the one that said it first!!