I Am Mad, Hear Me Roar

I have not posted for a few days because of the huge post I posted the other day. I wanted to give the two people that read this blog some time to read all of it because, you know, it took me a long time to pull all those thoughts out of the archives. You really get to know me a lot more by that post. It was very important that I put the Stevie Nicks story in there because of it's strangeness, but I suppose I should have put it in the front of the post so it would not get lost with all the other words I posted before it. In other words, I am sorry to have such a long post last time. I rather like reading small posts because I am impatient, so I understand the grief.

It has been incredibly dry here in Stonewall Jackson's state, so it is a very nice respite to have the huge downpour of rain.

And I have absolutely nothing to talk about. I was talking to Lobsy about blogging the other day and I think she plagued me. I started writing "I have not posted...." and had a point, and then now it's gone somehow. Just lost.

I am supposed to take the kids to the library today. Books for my son: 1. Tom Sawyer (he thought it rather funny when I told him the story of whitewashing the fence---or was that Huck Finn?) 2. The Librarian Who Measured the Earth 3. Treasure Island.

School starts on Tuesday.

Dear Sir is sick...again.

And my oldest was horrible at Costco yesterday. We got in the car and I am chewing him out. "You are always running off...." blah blah blah. I asked him one time if when he hears an adult voice instructing him he tunes out and only hears "dwink, dwinka dwink" like from the Peanuts. "Pretty much," he said. Great. I went off though and I had to stop at detestable Walmart to get caffeine pills (Dear Sir must have them). I used to get carded for them, but I guess now that I am approaching 30 I look like I can handle a butt load of caffeine pills in one sitting. Hey, I have three kids. Gotta stay awake.
So, as I was turning to park in the detestable parking lot of Walmart, my daughter says from the back, "Where's my purse?"

My lack of grace is staggering at this point. I think of all my friends and how calm they are with their kids (at least when I am watching) and I realize that I am a total freak woman. My reaction: "RAAAAAAGHRRRRRRR!!!!!" And I am not kidding. When I did it I was sort of surprised myself. I thought, "I am an animal."

So I got the pills, high-tailed it to the car, and went to Costco again to find the purse. I kept asking my daughter what was in it so I would not have to really go through the trouble to even retrieve it. I wanted an excuse to just go home. "I don't know!" She kept whining. I figured that if I left it though she would never let me live it up, would blame me for allowing her to lose her Polly Pocket Little Mermaid or whatever, and all her junk to go with it, and then I could imagine Eraser Eater crying the whole way home. "You didn't get her purse!" He would wail. "It makes me so sad! Ahhhh!" I could see this future looming above me like a dark cloud if I chose this route.

We did finally find it and my girl had a smile on her face the whole way out. "I knew it was there, Mom," she said.

I was still a little miffed. By this time the rain was getting a little heavier and the windows were fogging up. I really don't know how to de-fog anything. I am a moron at it. My oldest was trying to help me. "Wait! I will get the manual!"
I would not have any of it because then I was on the miffed cycle and not ready. I am usually that chick that has foggy windows and she is wiping the windshield to see and rolling the window down. In the rain. Eventually I hit some button on my blasted dashboard (I don't know what those Germans want from me) and it helped, but I realized that I had the heat going and I was getting hot. And nothing makes me more mad when I am hot for no reason. The back window is broken on our car and when the little button is hit to lower it, it doesn't work. It just lowers whenever it wants to, and that is what it did all the way home. I would push the button to make it go back up and then ten seconds later it would go back down again. The kids would say every time it went down, "There it is again! Make it go up Mom! The rain is getting in!" Eventually it stopped freaking out and stayed up, to my relief. I looked about me at the other motorists, and they were looking at me like I was a freak. I am sure I looked it.

I kept thinking that I was not passing the test of patience. Too much pelted me at once and I could not get out of the blasted pit. First I have a child running off and making comments to passersby at Costco, then I had to go to Walmart, endure the lost purse, and then deal with my freaky Christine car.

Wish me luck at the library.


Emily said...

If it makes you feel any better, your life is awesome blog-fodder and you make all two of us laugh!

(I'm referring to the two afore-mentioned readers of your blog; I do not have a split-personality... although my family might claim otherwise.)


Anonymous said...

You crack me up! That is my life and I completely understand. My advice . . . call it a day and eat some chocolate. -A
ps - I never mind your long entries. They are always worth it. Especially since you took me to that church a couple times. I was rolling.

Todd said...

Tell Joel that those caffeine pills will wreak havoc with his body! Get some sleep, eat healthy and exercise. Your body will thank you.

Additionally, check out this link for a healthier alternative:

I don't sell the stuff but can honestly say we have had great health since we began taking the pills. If you want a real gung-ho testimonial email Sharon.

R said...

Thank you. I thought you did have a split personality! I WAS referring to you. Ha ha. Your sister did tell me that you will sometimes write to her about your particular dinner menu. I had side split over that. "Baby peas with hollandaise sauce, split chicken breasts, braised in red wine and placed over a bed of wild rice.."

I thought you would especially enjoy that post. You lived it with me. I think you got to skip the hatchback adventure though. I think you were only permitted to come along once the big brown van came into our lives. I ate chocolate, honey. Did I ever.

I DO tell Joel this stuff. I wish he would intake caffeine the normal way---at least drink some coffee. Nope, hates coffee (big surprise) and rather likes popping the pills. I think it is ok because he drinks gallons of water a day and in my experience (I am a No caffeine kind of person) the water does just fine.
Sleep is not something Joel can very well control since he has to work loads of over time so we can basically have food on the table. Hopefully we will be over that soon and he can sleep more. Plus, he still needs to get back to school again so sleep looks bleak.
Eat healthy---he does some. Not really though. I eat healthy. I run and fuel myself with good things because I have to in order to keep myself up. He has the Wilhelm plague of hating food.
Exercise---he is trying but he would rather sleep than exercise and I don't blame him. His commute is horrible (he drives about three hours or more a day) plus he works a lot of hours, so basically he is going to die soon. :)

I am going to check out the site though. Things change quickly.

He is sleeping right now, if that is any consolation! :)

Oops---times up---it's five and high time for a glass of wine.

Thanks Todd. I think you are totally right!!!!