At the Orchard

This is me at an apple orchard today. Dear Sir took it like a total sneak while I was walking around with the crazy apple picking pole. Apparently it has little prongs at the tip top that pluck at the stem of the apple and then down comes the apple into the little bag. It actually works.

I have a ton of apples, I'll tell you. I am allergic to raw stuff, but I can actually eat apples, grapes and some berries this year, which is almost a miracle. I have not had any issues, so I have allowed Eraser Eater and the girl to eat them too. They have been delighted. I am still pretty certain a banana will kill me. I am not willing to try it out because it could literally mean certain death.
I love bananas. My daughter always dreams of being able to eat one and says, "Dad! When I get to heaven I will be able to eat bananas! Yum! I can't wait!" Some people actually wish for heaven---I would love to sink my teeth into some guacamole or fresh salsa. I would also love to eat a banana too, but you know, I would die. Same for melons and anything else that can be in a raw state.

So, while I was an apple-picking fool, I looked up and Dear Sir said, "Rach, we need to go and follow the kids. Someone's gonna get lost." I looked over and you know, a stupid bug flew in my eye. I actually did not think about it again and it was lost in the abyss of my eye, so it did not hinder any other activities at the orchard. I really forgot about it.

We took the long way home and once we got into the house the bug resurfaced. It just up and irritated my eye like it was just picking up where it left off. I went straight to the powder room (I have one!) to check it out and found about half a bug nestled in the eyeball crack. I got some of it out, but it was hard. There was other junk in there and then some make up and stuff was starting to stream and get all in my eye too. I went and did a few things and felt my eye get hot. I went back to the powder room to check it out and it was beet red, all thick feeling, and oozing a bit. I found more bug and washed my eyes out with water and put some drops in. It took a bit to get better. I am almost half convinced my eye flipped out because the stinking bug was raw.

It is really a weird thing. I mean, I can't touch raw meat without getting immediate itchy rash on my hands. I can't even walk by a tomato plant and let it "accidentally" graze me. I will have a welt. So, does that mean that I can't touch a human? They have raw flesh. Does it mean that I can't touch an open, raw wound? I couldn't eat a raw cicada taco, that's for sure. Sushi is out of the question. I can't even touch raw eggs. I could always cut myself, put my mouth to the wound and find out. No, that is madness. Have you ever read Life of Pi? I mean, in the book this kid has to eat raw fish whenever he could just to survive on this boat all by himself. I would die. I would completely lose my life. I would die a miserable, long death from eating sushi. So my arch enemy would die if he ate cooked food. Is my arch enemy Gollum?

Why am I writing this stupid stuff? Gee whiz. I have weird thoughts when I am left alone.

I am a freak.

The orchard was beautiful though. It was in Charlottesville. It is just gorgeous there. The kids had fun. We were all in our church clothes picking apples with a dear friend we were visiting and it was bliss. I love the smell of apples and apple products. My daughter had her own bag of apples that she produced and she wanted to go to bed with it tonight. She is all into taking everything to bed with her at night. The boys just sort of meandered around and wanted to use the pole/apple catcher thing. We bought apple donuts and apple cider and sat down on a bench overlooking the Blue Ridge mountains and enjoyed ourselves.