Mayhem

When my oldest son is hungry between meals he has this new thing now where he always says that he turns into "Starvey: the Hungry Boy". He asks me for food when he is "Starvey" much like Oliver would ask for more soup. I wonder if he reads too many comic books.

The librarian has noticed it. He goes to her every time to see if she has any unstocked Garfields in the back. He gets the same ones over and over. She asked him yesterday how long it takes him to read one book of Garfield comics. He could not give her a straight answer, but vaguely said that he just sits down and reads them all until he has something else he has to do.

Wilhelm and the boys often take dinnertime to make their own Garfield "panels". I don't know how he does it, but Wilhelm usually gets some sort of rise out of my oldest by maiming Garfield in some way. He makes Garfield get advice from Lucy for five cents or he makes Snoopy fly off his doghouse into Odie or something. Eventually my oldest just looks at me, rolls his eyes and says, "We're just going to have to ignore him, Mom!" By this time Wilhelm has gotten his joy for the evening and he is cackling away in the distance.



My youngest son is trying my patience lately. I think he wants extra attention, but I am not sure how to give it since I have been trying my best. Yesterday he did not want to put his shoes in the shoe basket so he threw himself on the floor (he is seven, mind you) and started to whine and moan. I have not seen this in a long time and thought it ridiculous, as you could well imagine. So I threw myself on the floor and whined and moaned until he started laughing and soon he saw how ridiculous it looked.
During school lately he will say stuff like, "I really have to go to the bathroom but I am too lazy to go."
He keeps asking me the same questions over and over about Neopet cards. I hate Neopet cards. They are much like Pokemon or Yugioh or something like that. Some made up baseball card cyber rip-off. A few months ago it was "I Spy" everything and now it is Neopet cards. Neopet dot com. Green Lupe's and Yellow Hasses---Blue star-speckled Scorchio's and Red Kacheeks. I know. What the heck. So now he asks me questions like, "Why don't they sell promo cards and put them in regular packs, Mom?" I have had this question a billion times put to me and I don't think he even wants an answer. He wants me to go straight to Target and buy him every pack for $3.50 a piece to make him gleeful. Not happening. He went on Neopet dot com yesterday (early after school) and then at dinnertime he said, "Can I go on Neopet dot com? You haven't let me!" I turned around as quickly as I could and yelled, "You just went on this morning!" I know, I yelled. This has been constant though. Constant. Did I mention that this kind of stuff was constant? Oh yeah, I did. Anyway, what is really happening is that he is trying to see if I forgot already because you know, I have memory issues. I feel like the guy on Memento, seriously I do. I am so much like that. I tell my oldest to "play piano" and he does for a few measures, I get busy with something and forget that he only played two measures. It gets that bad sometimes.

At the moment my youngest boy (Neopet Maniac Eraser Eater) dropped his pencil from his desk and he is desperately trying to "reach it" from the desk moaning. "I can't reach it!" He keeps saying. I literally have to tell him to get off his chair and go down and get it. I tell him this. "You should have told me!" He says.

Did I tell you that sometimes I want to jump from the highest window of a building?