11/28/2007

Today I Will Be Fish Free

Of course I have hurt my knee, it is all acting crazy right now, so I am not sure I can keep up my thirty miles a week deal for much longer this week, at least. Makes me mad. I go out and grill some dogs, chase my kids, and over-extend my knee. And here I was thinking I did a good job at saving my other knee. Well, I think I hurt my hamstring and then it has been pressuring my knee, but I don't know right well what my body is doing. Good grief. Not like you guys care much about that anyway. It just bites is all. So instead of running, I am sitting here in my running clothes complaining about it.

And I am getting rid of Tolstoy, our fish. He is just too gargantuan. Every time a person comes over they approach the tiny 2.5 gallon tank and say, "That fish is a shark! Why is he in such a small tank?" Gee, I don't know, because we haven't bought one and gee whiz, I didn't know there were steroids in his food or water or something he is consuming. Look at his pathetic state:


So I put him on my homeschool list and begged someone to take him. Here is the post, it ran:

"Hello all,

I have a fairly large fancy gold fish in too small of a tank (he has
gotten so big) and frankly, I have realized I am not a fish person.
Before I ax the guy, I wanted to find out if any of you have room in
your aquariums for yet another fish.

He is well-mannered, eats a lot, and can withstand tank cloudiness,
human stupidity, over feeding, under feeding, and pretty much anything
negative that can befall a fish. His name is Tolstoy.

His only request is that he have a tank big enough for his huge body,
and a mother considerate and mindful enough to clean his tank and the
usual. He sits in his tank by the table and so every time I eat food I
see his sad condition: his lack of freedom, his burdensome body
(because it is so incredibly huge), his pure neglect and lack of a
rightful fishhood.

If you find it in your heart to relieve me of this happy, adaptable
fish, I would be most grateful.

R."

This is weird:

A lady wants him but probably does not want to drive to the sticks to get him, so I am meeting her at my friends house (who will be teaching my son piano at the time) to dole out Tolstoy. I am going to attempt to put him in a freezer bag. I called my friend about it because I needed her address (I didn't know it off the top of my head) and I had to leave a message. She said that she listened to my message five times because when I got to the part where I said that I needed her address because a lady is going to come and pick up my fish at her house, she could not stop laughing and never heard the rest of the message.

It is a little strange, I suppose. What's with the fish lately? Hairy fish, big fish. Something like that.

3 comments:

Lisa said...

The ax? You would have flushed a live fish? Haven't you heard all the urban legends of things growing to the size of sky scrapers in the sewer? EEK!

JRH said...

I don't think Tolstoy will like it in the freezer, but it will keep him from getting any bigger.

R said...

Lisa---yeah, I have thought about flushing him, but again, I think he is so hearty that he would just go to the sewer system, walk right out, and come knock on my door.

JRH---LOL! Yeah, that'll do the trick!