Shed Slamming

I am teaching the art class again today. Now that I know what I am in for, I feel a bit nervous about it. Why, I have no clue. I just dread getting that paint out with all those first graders and making a sorry painting with them. The paintings have been rather sorry looking, if you ask me. Couldn't we have better projects? I would try to spice them up, but the concepts being taught are so limited.

And I am a bit nervous about being in the local paper today for a homeschooling special report. When I was interviewed I had a fever, and who knows what the heck I said.

Last night as I grilled some Hebrew National Fat Free Hot Dogs (they taste funky, don't waste your moolah), I ran around in the dark with Eraser Eater and the Girl, playing tag. I always feel sorry for Eraser Eater because he has asthma. I was trying to let him win a little, but it pretty much blew up in my face. As I tried to chase him before he touched the "base" (which happened to be the shed), I almost had him. He was shrieking and giggling as I about neared him. The mere g-force of my stupid sprint to nail the eraser-eating-freak was too much for my body. I was going too fast, and all I remember is Eraser Eater, his back against the shed, and myself, slamming against where he had just previously been, and falling on my knee to the slate steps below. I immediately began to laugh with embarrassment, thanking God Dear Sir was not around. Gee whiz, that must not have been a lovely sight, and I wouldn't want Dear Sir knowing how much of a total ditz I am. (There are some things, even in marriage, that must remain a secret)

Upon getting up, I saw blood all over my knee and my head snapped to attention when Dear Sir yelled from the patio, "Are you alright?!"
"Yeah, I am alright."
"So did you ruin your knee now? You can't run on it?" He is always trying to find ways for me to not be able to run. He thinks I am obsessed.
"No, I didn't ruin it. I just scraped it, see?" I showed him the cut, blood running down. The kids were in awe. "I think it is fine, anyway. I'll run around the yard in a minute to see if anything is damaged."
He shook his head. "You are the biggest dork I have ever met. Did you see yourself?" He then proceeded to mock me, arms flailing about like a wussy girl, slamming against some wall, and then cascading down in a wimpy heap to the ground with a wail.
I stared at him seriously.
He laughed heartily until I chuckled. "I know, I am a dork," I admitted.

The kids stood by me as I bandaged my knee up and wiped up the blood. Eraser Eater said, "Gee mom, you are so strong. I would be crying my guts out by now with blood coming down like that."

The cool thing is that even swift mom could not catch the asthma child, and I am sure he felt good about himself.

I suck, ok? I can face that.


Jennifer said...

Oh man! My knee hurt just reading about that. I'm thinking of coming over there and giving Dear Sir a flick on the head for mocking you. That's what my husband gets when he mocks me, and with these new acrylic nails I can give a pretty hearty flick! ;-)

shealyisnottheantichrist said...

This is why it is good to have your kids when you are young. If you were in your 40's and did that, you might need the ambulance. Yikes!

wessexcathedral@gmail.com said...

Jennifer--yes, he deserves a flick. I found it pretty hilarious that right when I was glad he didn't see it, he really did. Stuff always happens like that with me. I thought I was so slick and could get eraser eater. I slammed into the shed instead and bit it. I truly am an idiot, but don't tell Dear Sir he is really correct.

Shealy---Yeah, I get pretty protective of my knees because I run (like you do) and so when I do fall, I immediately think about how I am going to fall, which way I will lean, etc so I won't damage myself. I used my thigh muscles to take a lot of the force, so they were a little strained afterward, but my knee is fine! Just a scrape! I have learned that in running if you have an upper leg issue, you can still run and it won't hurt you to. Anything with the knee and below will cause you to have to lay off on running if damaged. Let your thighs take the heat!

Anonymous said...

Gee whiz, you are a dork. I knew I liked you!

Anonymous said...

I don't do running.

Mom bleeding and not crying? Your kids are so in awe of you right now that Dear Sir laughing can't touch you. ;o)