In the Frozen Deep

So I went to Costco today and took the sick kids with me. We were severely running out of goods, so we had to go. I had a mind to spend hundreds. When you do that, upon getting home, hundreds of muscles ache because you are the one stuck loading it, unloading it, and putting it away. It was especially scary because the snow here is just pure ice, like walking on a frozen lake. Eraser Eater took a turn outside without my knowing it and when I went to get the mail, I turned to see him racing toward me, skidding on the ice in his boots, and biffing it flat on his face. It reminded me of A Christmas Story. He cried and I had no sympathy as usual. He was fine though, thankfully enough.

As I was walking around with the cart though, I noticed that my toes were numb. I couldn't even feel them even slightly. I have been so cold lately that my fingers are purple quite a bit.

I think I am a hypochondriac because my son is standing here right now complaining of a mysterious pain when he coughs, and he wishes for me to look up his symptoms in the medical manual. He always diagnoses himself with various little things. Dear Sir always shakes his head and says, "I think you will die in your sleep tonight." The oldest is very literal, so he always gets this deer caught in headlights look on his face and falls for it every time.

He also got the deer caught in headlights look the other night when he discovered a fly in his bedroom. Why the flies are not dead when it is so cold, I don't know. He flipped out like usual, cried for a decent spell, and I had to save the day with a magazine because go figure, I don't have a fly swatter anymore. Lost it in the move. That fly was meaty and intrepid too. I had to HACK at it to get it to die. It would sit there stupidly and then crawl a little in a crack and there I was, blowing death upon it with a folded Economist Magazine in a downward jabbing motion.

Now he is running around with his new dollar store gun, clicking away, driving me crazy. He dared to pull the thing out at Costco and grace us with the lovely sound directly in the ear. I was quick to confiscate it.

My daughter is at the moment wearing her little halter under shirt with Cinderella on it while donning a Hello Kitty pillowcase as her mermaid tail. She is squirming around the floor and that means I have to go and take care of this. I am freezing.


Carolanne said...

Flies are prolific around here at the moment, although you'd think the heat would kill them. My students are easily distracted by them as they aim to kill them with their bare hands. Yuck!

Hope you're feeling better soon.

R said...

Thank you, Carolanne. I feel better now. :)

I can not imagine the heat in your neck of the woods. I have never been there. I was, actually, reading a book Eraser Eater checked out at the library about Kangaroos. They sound rather frightening, actually. The red ones can be as tall as a basketball player and jump over a school bus "the long way"? I would have a heart attack if I saw that. It also sounds like they get hit by cars much like deer do here!

Good luck with the students. Yikes.

Lisa said...

Be glad that it was only one fly. We have the Asian lady bug plague. You think they are frozen, but, when the sun comes out, they are on the move again! *Blech*

Anonymous said...

i love your description of killing the fly.

i hate those confounded clicking guns. hate them

Carolanne said...

Kangaroos jump over a school bus - the long way??? I doubt it would even go over the width but then what would I know. I rarely see them anyway despite living in the country.
Hitting a kangaroo does more damage to the car than to the kangaroo. They might momentarily get stunned but then bound away. It would be worse to hit a wombat, even though they're smaller.
How tall is the basketballer that the red kangaroo is as tall as?
(Hope I haven't disillusioned you!) It's still hot here but it's OK, its Summer. If you ever come here, come on over and I'll show you around - I think it would be fun!