Bono Was My Boyfriend

The other day I went out and found some used CDs at the local used cd store. I found the recent Travis CD, some Richard Ashcroft CD (formerly from the Verve) and U2's Rattle and Hum. Usually I would not have picked up the U2 disc because I know it so stinking well and I have gotten tired of U2. I used to have the CD and I let someone borrow it....you know how that goes. People rarely return things. Anyway, Dear Sir had been getting "Silver and Gold" stuck in his head so he bought it on itunes. I figured when I found the whole disc I could listen to "Heartland" once again and "Desire." Triple score. It got me thinking about how obsessed a fan I was in highschool.

I loved U2. I mean LOVED them. I actually had a huge love for Bono (back before he was such an annoying political icon) and I thought he was my "boyfriend". At least, that is what I would tell people. I went to school in the South (I was formerly from California, so I was a bit different in everyone's estimation) so no one knew who the heck Bono was. No one knew hardly who U2 was. I wore U2 shirts all the time, spent my money on U2 memorabilia, cds, buttons, postcards, banners, posters, you get me. I only say that people in my school did not know who U2 was because they were BEHIND. The South is always behind. If someone walked around with a Depeche Mode shirt on, no one would know who they were. "Who the heck is that?!" they would say. You would just have to roll your eyes because they were so steeped in Hootie and the Blowfish and Collective Soul that it made you want to puke. So, point is, I was a sort of weirdo in school, always donning some U2 junk, claiming Bono was my boyfriend. I was so used to saying this that it just sort of "stuck" with me even when I had "real" boyfriends. They would just roll their eyes at me. I remember specifically one time I borrowed a "Kill Bono" shirt from my boyfriend (he was rather sick of Bono) and wore it to school to freak people out. They all almost had heart attacks. They thought I had lost my mind.

I wore U2 shirts so much, in fact, that the teachers started to notice. My American History teacher (who got off the subject very liberally, I may add) noted my shirt and said, "U2? Oh yeah, I remember a band called U2. They opened for (I can't remember---someone stupid) during their first album...."

"Boy?" I said.

"Yeah, I guess----Uh, and the lead singer---he was really sort of annoying and energetic---he danced around quite a bit and jumped on the amps and stuff." I am sure he had something more to say about it, but it wasn't from a fan's perspective, so I sort of blocked it out. All I remember is the class looking at me and laughing and feeling like they knew then a little something about U2, now that the teacher had some experience with them.

I told a recent friend one time (who is a bit older than me and was partying before I was born) a few years ago that I was a big U2 fan in my old days. He said, "Yeah. They sucked. They opened up for this really great band called the 'Suburban Lawns'. You had to see them. They were great."

The Suburban Lawns? Huh? WE ARE TALKING ABOUT U2!!!!!!

Anyway, let's fast forward to my days when the kids were very little and I was living in Idaho with no car to my name and I was in the little house with the big huge hedge.

A salesman comes to the door. He is blonde, young and fresh out of college, and sort of good looking in a foreign sort of way. He has tote bags full of books and he is trying to sell them to me. His accent is thick.
"You are from Ireland," I say.

"Yes, let me show you these books."

"Anything, for a guy from Ireland," I say to him. {I know I must have sounded stupid. I had a kid on my hip, a kid trying to get out the door, and it was BLAZING hot outside. Gotta love those hot Idaho days. Ick. This Irish guy was sweating like a sieve.}

We look at the books on the porch. I have no money, there is no chance of me buying the books. I have, what? Thirteen dollars in the bank?

"I used to be a huge U2 fan," I say like a school girl.

"Ooh, yes," he says and smiles as he looks up (am sure, thinking of the Emerald Isle).

He is holding a pen and he is showing me prices on a chart.

"Bono was my boyfriend in highschool," I continue. I am, of course, remembering the good ol' days when everyone knew he was my boyfriend, even though he wasn't.

The guy drops his pen and stares at me blankly, like he has seen a ghost. He mumbles, "Bon---boyfr--?"

"It's a joke," I said, "I used to be so obsessed with Bono that I used to call him my boyfriend."

He laughs heartily, feeling like a fool, picks up his pen and says, "You really had me there."


melanie said...

Boy and War... I can remember walking into the Record store, and buying my first copy of each of those.

"if you walk away walk away walk away walk away I will follow..."

didnt live bono, but the music was awesome. in the beginning.

melanie said...

sorry that was a love. not live... giggles.

Emily said...

Yea, sure did do the whole U2 thing. My dh and I kinda like to count ourselves among the band's first fans. :-) (Like, we were fans before they had fan, ya know.) I actually still think Bono rocks. My son is into them now, which is really fun. He bought their most recent CD and it's really good, I think. I got him a book about U2's lyrics from our church library yesterday. It looks kinda interesting.

When my dh and I had a band we made two tapes and when we had our band photo taken we *so* were trying to look like U2. I was just looking at the pictures yesterday. Too funny.

Badoozie said...

i'm having a couple of problems here...first off, i have noticed much to your chagrin, that you did not list U2 on your profile page. furthermore, you're 28 stinking years young. so being into U2, and not having anyone know who they were does not put them "behind" the times, but puts you "behind" the times my dear. cause like well,,,they were popular in the mid/late 80's and you were like, not in highschool then, and so, like i'm all confused...you are a punk? thats it. that was the point i'm trying to make. just wrap yourself in electrical tape and walk in the middle of the street at all times...k

Badoozie said...

yes, i smoke crack all the time.

R said...

Trust me, the South was BEHIND. And I mean it. No one I went to school with knew much about U2. Maybe heard the name, but did not know much else....

I know I am a youngin.' I hate it when you old people get all bent out of shape when someone starts talking about something in "your generation" like you made it all up or something. So I liked U2 and the Smiths and Depeche Mode. So stinking what. They were still producing albums then and the dumb kids I went to school with listened to stupid college junk and wore duck heads. :)

I did not list U2 on my profile page. Note that I *was* Bono's girlfriend (or he was just my boyfriend)---I actually picked up a CD that I never bothered to replace because I knew it all and was too tired of it until now, when Dear Sir wanted to hear "Silver and Gold." I am plumb sick of U2, as is the rest of the world.

Nope, not a punk. Just straight cool.:)

Anonymous said...

Though I never claimed him as my boyfriend, Ian Mitchell was my big love. Ian Mitchell? Bay City Rollers. Tufties, rugby shirts, short pants trimmed in tartan and striped socks... Try living in the south with that! *Giggle*

EmmaSometimes said...

by the way, U2 wont come up in your profile because the shortest artist blogger will take is 2 characters. I put it in like "U2." then it will show up.

I think I shall blog this phenom. :o)

I had a boring boyfriend in highschool. Nothing like BONO!!

R said...

Mrs.Moo---Rugbys are good. You must have looked a bit crazy, but I am sure, cool.

Emma---That is funny about blogger. How wussy. I probably DID try to put U2 up but couldn't so gave up. Huh, never noticed. Not a huge loss though; I am sick of them!

Yeah, Bono is certainly one of a kind. I feel now, looking back on that like those girls who can't get a boyfriend who claim that Jesus is theirs. It sounds sort of sad now.