Aspergian Child

It has been a bit tough lately dealing with my Aspergian boy, the Oldest (he is 12). I think it is because he is bigger than me, has a high energy level at times, and has increased hormone levels. I remember as a girl his age, crying at the drop of a hat over everything. My oldest brother used to tell me that I acted like I had a video camera following me around. Trust me, I didn't like that comment. But this is what I imagine he is feeling except that he is not necessarily crying, he just gets angry, I suppose. 

And I am indecisive, which is bad for an Aspergian boy to have to handle. It takes me awhile to come to a decision because hey, I just want to get away from any thoughts of conflict and turmoil. I just don't want to deal with it. But I do. And I hate the outcome. Fussing, crying over a lost gameboy or game system, weeping while sentences like "I will not hit my brother" are being written fifty times on a page. Like I have said before, I frequently just say the words "duct tape" to indicate that I want him to just shut his mouth because he doesn't have to comment on every single thing in this here United States of America! 

The day he scaled a wall at Co-op I found out that he chased a friend's van ( as it was driving away) to say goodbye. Maybe like the movies? Like a dog? This is also the same day he decided that it would be great fun to jump up and down and clap between jumps in a moving elevator. And then I found out that in his science class he refused that day to do his experiment because, I suppose, it was not working the way he anticipated. 

There are days I think this an easy task and then there are days I just want to cry uncle and clock out and go home. I am not complaining. He is a brilliant child. It would be just so easy to stick him in front of a television his whole life and let him just play video games. He would be fine then. Seriously. That is the element his brain wants to focus on. That is what he lives for right now and I don't allow him to have it---I push him hard to conform to this life, to the normalcy of his surroundings---to something that is in many ways alien to him---society. I've had to fight hard and work hard to get him where he is today. At one point in his life as he was in Kindergarten I thought that he would never live a normal life and probably work fast food if that. I grabbed everything I could to fight for him, the Professor and I both. 

And now I am tired. An Asperger's person is like a male times 100. What I mean by that is take a normal male and the way they think, and multiply that male by 100 and put it into one person. That is my kid. Hey, even just the other day the Oldest was sitting on the rocking chair in the living room saying to the Professor, "I will never understand 'woman.'"

"What do you mean, you will never understand woman?"

"THE WOMAN. I will never understand THE WOMAN in my life. They are way too complicated. All they care about is fashion and the latest styles. Life is more than styles, you know!" 

"And all you care about is a gameboy. I could dress you in underwear out in public and you wouldn't give a rip---you'd play a gameboy naked. How are you going to ever understand fashion? Of course you don't!" I roared pleasantly from the couch. 

He looked at me in a sort of shocked manner, rocking back and forth in the chair, "Well that's true!" He started laughing when the Professor couldn't hold it in any longer. 

At least he got the joke! Gee whiz.