He has not called me or talked to me for two whole days. Actually, it has been longer. 53 hours.
But I am glad he is having fun and all, I just wanted to tell him that:
1. I had a nervous breakdown last night when I saw how messy the boys' room was.
2. I threw a fit.
3. I had another nervous breakdown when I saw how messy the Girl's room was.
4. I threw a fit.
5. I threw away half of her toys.
6. I am not joking about #5. I really did it.
7. I was up until midnight last night having a nervous breakdown and throwing away toys and bits of paper, beads, unneeded bags, broken plastic things, ripped cards, boxes, trinkets, stuffed animals, puzzle pieces, boxes, broken crayons, naked barbies, McDonald's toys, rusty pennies, crusty whatnots, strings, dishes, dolphin harnessed chariots, and other various bits of rubbish that ruined my life and caused me to become unglued.
8. I went to a couple vineyards with my friends today.
9. I had a great time.
10. I bought wine.
11. I saw a woman feeding a muffin to a horse.
12. When driving home I almost ran out of gas.
13. I had to pump gas at a really weird backwoods gas station and it was dark and I was scared and they didn't have a card swiper thingy so I had to go IN the stupid station and tell them I wanted a couple gallons of gas but the lady kept asking me how much I wanted to pay and I kept telling her I just wanted two gallons so I could get home and she kept suggesting prices and I didn't get it because I guess I'm dumb and I barely ever pump gas and so I just gave her ten bucks and she looked relieved to be rid of me and then I pumped the gas and it stopped when the dollar amount hit ten and I thought that a very novel invention and then I got in the car and drove home.
14. I ate really good peanut butter and chocolate frozen custard on my way out of town for dinner.
15. It was really cold in the house this morning because I don't know how to turn on the heat and am not sure if I should or not even if I could turn it on.
16. I watered the plants.
17. I'm glad you are having fun.
18. I wish I was there.
19. I am feeling selfish because I wish I was there A LOT.
20. I'm jealous a bit.
21. But I am happy for you.
22. The kids miss you and wonder why you haven't called.
23. John McCain winked at me.
24. Everyone wants to be my friend.
25. I have so many friends over here right now eating pizza and drinking wine with me, I can't believe it. In fact, it is getting a bit loud in here so I can't think too properly because I am busy with them and frankly, I just can't keep writing on here.
26. Just joking. I am actually alone with nothing to do. And I'm writing on my stupid blog and there's probably nothing on tv and the kids are in bed.
27. But even though you are a total blackguard for not calling me or probably not even thinking about me, I will let it slide this one time because I know you are having fun. And it ain't about me.
28. But it is a little.
29. I love you and I had a good day, did you?
30. Good night.