12/21/2006

Lost Ewe

Last night Dear Sir and I dropped the kids off at the local Baptist Church to their AWANA meeting. The Oldest bolted to his class and the younger ones lined up to sign themselves in, and I walked to the car and Dear Sir and I went to get something to eat and catch up.

When I walked in the building an hour later things were eerily quiet. I did find the Eraser Eater and the Daughter, but strangely my oldest son's class was not in session and every room was dark. I went to the other end of the building to the gym because perhaps he could be there, and lo, he was not. I went to the AWANA leader and asked him where the Oldest son's class was.
"There is no class. They did not meet today."
I immediately got this sinking feeling in my stomach. I almost freaked out, but Dear Sir was behind me and he said, "We will find him, don't worry."
I ridiculously started to search for my son in a frantic fashion. I climbed a million stairways and found classrooms upon classrooms but I could not get to the sanctuary, where I thought he could possibly be since there was a sermon going on there. I think there are four or five stairwells, and I met about four of them and plastered my face against windows in nearly every lit room I could. No son. Finally a man said to me: "You have lost a child."

I think he could tell by the look on my face. I was about to slay anyone who got in the way of me and my child. I felt so ridiculous. I tried to suppress my feelings but said sheepishly, "yes."

This man helped Dear Sir look and I looked everywhere else. Finally the man brought an usher from the service who guided me to the sanctuary and told me to search through the pews (it was very full) for my son. I scoped the place but could not see the other side, so I went to the next set of double doors.
Finally, I saw him. He was sitting down next to a teacher reading his Bible. He was reading Ecclesiastes.

I grabbed his arm and guided him out. I was sure to thank the teacher who sat next to him.

I thanked everyone who helped me including the usher, the man who knew I lost a child, and the AWANA superintendent (even though he did not tell me much).

I have been emotional the past few days. This topped the cake. I did not full out cry my eyes out or anything, but I pushed back a few tear drops and got in the car. I handed the Oldest the rest of my Diet Coke.
"Why are you giving this to me?" he said thankfully.

"Because I lost you and I feel bad for it," I said.
What made it even worse to me is that my son proceeded to tell me how when he found that his class was not in session he ran back to the parking lot to look for our car and we were gone. He said he hung his head and was disappointed that he had to go back inside and roam the halls.

Dear Sir grabbed my leg. "He is a big boy now, Rachel, he knows what to do."

I thought of the parable of the lost sheep during the whole thing. I didn't think about how God must feel when one of His own are lost until I was in the parking lot, three kids safe and sound, but I did think about how God loses sheep when I was looking through endless classrooms. Not until I got in the car, handing my kid the diet coke, did it occur to me that God feels like I felt when a sheep is lost. I felt frantic. I felt horrible. The weird thing is that I knew he was safe, it was the fact that he was not where I knew he should have been. The fact that he was lost.

6 comments:

Mama Heffalump said...

That must be a BIG church! Glad everything turned out right... Lost but now found. *Smile*

R said...

Yeah, the church is pretty large. It has a nice big school in it as well and lots of those stairwells and classrooms were the school part. Imagine running around through a high school building trying to find your child. Probably not as big as some HS, but it is big enough to get lost.

Yes, lost but now found. :)

Leslee said...

Bless your heart! Loosing a child is never fun, but I'm so glad that God was able to show you His love through it all!

Badoozie said...

well i would have done the same, and felt the same way, but i would have been a big baby and bawled. once when my son got locked outside while i was in the shower, when i got him back in i cried for an hour, even though he was fine!!! i just kept picturing his poor little self outside the locked door....

Joel said...

It is amazing where the mother's mind roams in this sort of "crisis"! I was fit to be tied.

Thank you Susie, and Leslee for your consolation!

R said...

Umm, Joel did not say that. My fault. I didn't look at the sign in thing. Duh!