The Calm One in the Funk

As much as my husband's tendencies lean toward this sort of atrocity, he is still one of the best men and fathers that I have encountered in this wide world.

To be honest, I have been in a sort of spiritual/mental/cerebral slump as of late. I feel spiritually like I do in the middle of the day around three o'clock---I need that serious pick-me-up (like a good half of a dark chocolate bar) to keep me alive until I can hit the hay around nine as I read my book. This will serve as a good preface to this instance in my life I will relate at once:

I think I was brushing the Girl's hair. A lot of mornings this same Girl is a complete grump (just like her mother), and she often regrets it half-way through grumptown and then kills herself with a massive amount of tears and self-deprecation until she sees fit punishment. I, being just like her, sometimes have a blind spot when it comes to her ways. She was a pill the whole morning, and I won't get into it. I just felt spent already and it was only ten o'clock. Mind you, it was one of those mornings where your kid has not spoken in a 'normal' voice from the time they got up. One continual whine.

When I put the brush to her hair she just got tense and I don't know, thoroughly irked me. I will have no gyrating and screaming or anything negative when I do hair. I hate doing hair already---so one is lucky if I do it for them. I stopped brushing. I thought.

"I am DONE!" I yelped. My Girl just whimpered and pouted, slightly afraid. Who knows what I will come up with---I have been a bit testy lately, as I have said.

I went to the phone and picked it up. I dialed The Professor's number at work.
"Hello," I heard him say.
"Hey. Can you talk to the Girl? I am finished with her." I explained the scenario to him in the full, with much frustration.
"Put her on," he said.
The Girl got on the phone reluctantly. "YEEEEEESSSSSS," she sobbed.
silence for a good bit.
"Yes, Dad. Yes. Here's Mom," she said in her usual voice. This pissed me off. Oh, so the man gets the 'usual' voice and I just get a whine the whole morning. Interesting.

"So what did you say to her?" I said, irritated.

"I told her to go in her room, sit there for a minute, and come out and start her day all over again. Start fresh."

I got off the phone. The Girl went in her room for about two minutes. Soon enough, she burst out of the door with a smile on her face. She looked like Julie Andrews on top of the hills which were alive with the sound of music.

"Good morning!" She hollered.

A true actress at heart, I played along. "Good morning! How wonderful! You are dressed already! I bet your teeth are even magically brushed! It is so nice to see you!"

"YES!" she beamed.

I called The Professor a couple of hours later.

"Your plan worked," I muttered.

"It did?! Wow! I didn't think it would work. I can't believe it! That's awesome! I figured she felt like she dug herself a hole already for the day, felt bad for it, and just needed a second chance."

"Well, thanks."

"Not a problem."

And she was great the rest of the day.

What I don't get is how now that The Professor has a girl, he is all of a sudden in tune to feminine behavior and even sympathizes with it. I would have never thought of that scheme in a million years. There is hope for MANkind, sisters.


Uncle Joe said...


did you hear me???


I love this guy, The Professor.

Laura said...

that was funny R
I can just see the whole thing unfolding - the smile on her face (love the reference to the sound of music)

Anonymous said...

men just have the knack.

R said...

Uncle Joe---Ok, ok.

Laura---I thought that was quite funny too. :)

Ponder---Yeah, yeah.

Groovy Mom said...

Good for The Professor! I do something similar with my girls. We call it "changing the channel". My 9 year old used to come up to me some days and say, "Mom, do you think you could change the channel?" She be in tears and I'd say, "Okay, we're going to change to a better channel. Are you ready?" She'd not and I'd turn an imaginary knob. It was a bit like the 2nd chance The Professor gave your girl. We all have times where we'd like to start over.

Emma Sometimes said...

OH, the whine...ug. Good for Dad for pulling out the stops.

I ask my kids, "What does whining get you?"

"NOTHING!" they always know how to answer and it cracks people up.

"Then lets hear another voice.."

So, does she flail around on the floor while whining? They have a knack for that...

Avery Gray said...

I'm shocked it worked, too! I'm glad it did, though. I've had those days where nothing I do works for the boy. He's just bound and determined to push my buttons. I don't think he'd understand the whole "starting fresh" concept yet, but it just may be one I pull out of the old back pocket one of these days.

Way to go, Professor. You're still on my list, though.

Anne said...

HubbaHoney is so good like that. I'm not quite sure how. Is it because they aren't there ALL DAY and can step back and see more clearly? As long as it works.

Uncle Joe said...

I think I had too much coffee yesterday.

R said...

Groovy---you WOULD. You work like that. I am a ditz. I do like the channel idea. Maybe that can be my version of the Prof.'s idea! Thanks for the tip!

Emma---That sounds so funny---"What does whining get you children?"
{in flat voices}

I can't help but laugh.

Avery Gray---LOL. That is pretty funny. the List. I hope it is the list of apple lovers. Drives me nuts too, but curiously enough I think I have caught his disease.

Anne--Amen and amen.

Uncle Joe---Did ya? When I do that I pay for it big time. I am a dizzy mess from noon until bedtime and feel a little awful. Well, a lot awful. Did the coffee drain you of your superdad abilities?