As much as my husband's tendencies lean toward this sort of atrocity, he is still one of the best men and fathers that I have encountered in this wide world.
To be honest, I have been in a sort of spiritual/mental/cerebral slump as of late. I feel spiritually like I do in the middle of the day around three o'clock---I need that serious pick-me-up (like a good half of a dark chocolate bar) to keep me alive until I can hit the hay around nine as I read my book. This will serve as a good preface to this instance in my life I will relate at once:
I think I was brushing the Girl's hair. A lot of mornings this same Girl is a complete grump (just like her mother), and she often regrets it half-way through grumptown and then kills herself with a massive amount of tears and self-deprecation until she sees fit punishment. I, being just like her, sometimes have a blind spot when it comes to her ways. She was a pill the whole morning, and I won't get into it. I just felt spent already and it was only ten o'clock. Mind you, it was one of those mornings where your kid has not spoken in a 'normal' voice from the time they got up. One continual whine.
When I put the brush to her hair she just got tense and I don't know, thoroughly irked me. I will have no gyrating and screaming or anything negative when I do hair. I hate doing hair already---so one is lucky if I do it for them. I stopped brushing. I thought.
"I am DONE!" I yelped. My Girl just whimpered and pouted, slightly afraid. Who knows what I will come up with---I have been a bit testy lately, as I have said.
I went to the phone and picked it up. I dialed The Professor's number at work.
"Hello," I heard him say.
"Hey. Can you talk to the Girl? I am finished with her." I explained the scenario to him in the full, with much frustration.
"Put her on," he said.
The Girl got on the phone reluctantly. "YEEEEEESSSSSS," she sobbed.
silence for a good bit.
"Yes, Dad. Yes. Here's Mom," she said in her usual voice. This pissed me off. Oh, so the man gets the 'usual' voice and I just get a whine the whole morning. Interesting.
"So what did you say to her?" I said, irritated.
"I told her to go in her room, sit there for a minute, and come out and start her day all over again. Start fresh."
I got off the phone. The Girl went in her room for about two minutes. Soon enough, she burst out of the door with a smile on her face. She looked like Julie Andrews on top of the hills which were alive with the sound of music.
"Good morning!" She hollered.
A true actress at heart, I played along. "Good morning! How wonderful! You are dressed already! I bet your teeth are even magically brushed! It is so nice to see you!"
"YES!" she beamed.
I called The Professor a couple of hours later.
"Your plan worked," I muttered.
"It did?! Wow! I didn't think it would work. I can't believe it! That's awesome! I figured she felt like she dug herself a hole already for the day, felt bad for it, and just needed a second chance."
"Not a problem."
And she was great the rest of the day.
What I don't get is how now that The Professor has a girl, he is all of a sudden in tune to feminine behavior and even sympathizes with it. I would have never thought of that scheme in a million years. There is hope for MANkind, sisters.