At present I have five kids. They are all running around with swords, slashing things and calling out to one another. I have pledged to myself not to go insane, and so far it is working. Don't go insane, don't go insane, don't go insane. I think later they may be able to go outside even though it is windy like Chicago.
My little three year old nephew is a riot. I asked him if he liked macaroni and cheese and perhaps I would make that for lunch and he said to me, "I don't like macaroni and cheese you make. Only macaroni and cheese my mommy or daddy makes." I think it is funny his daddy makes anything. What a man.
I made him sit and finish his milk at breakfast because the price of milk is like four bucks a gallon, and he complained. "I will have a tummy ache if you make me drink this!" I dug my heels in and handed him a straw and said, "Keep drinking!" He tried to tell me it was terrible milk, but I would have none of it. The kid is terrified of beans so I used that. I told him that in a few minutes the rule in the house is that we put beans in the milk. He sipped pretty fast after that and smiled and let out a little whimper.
The kid keeps me on my toes because every time he goes to the bathroom he takes all of his clothes off from the waist down. He soon comes running at me saying, "Aunt Wachel! Aunt Wachel!" dangling his undies and pants in front of him. As I put on his undies for him, he says, "I wove tese tundies. Tey too toft." He's so particular, it cracks me up.
Today the Oldest turns eleven, and I quote him as he sat drinking his coffee, "I know, my turning eleven freaks you out. You don't have to say it."
"Yeah, it freaks me out! Your clothes fit me! Your shoes fit me!"
"You're a big woman."
"You're a big woman."
"You are taller than the average woman."
"Well, sort of. I am slightly taller than the average woman, but in reality, I am a small woman. People say I'm small."
His eyes bugged out.
"You're a big strong woman."
"Whatever, a lot of women are taller than me."
His eyes bugged out. I really don't know what he is thinking.
I got a ticket last year for my inspection being expired and the cop wrote down that I have brown hair and brown eyes. This was when I had obvious blonde hair. When I got a ticket last week for speeding (cough, cough), I was pleased as punch that the cop still recorded that I had blonde hair and green eyes. FINALLY! He had my weight wrong though.
By the way, my nephew just passed some serious gas. He calls that "foof." If I think about that too much I will laugh until I cry.