Crap, I'm the Toothfairy

The Girl is suffering from her very first loose tooth. She is six and rather late with it, but that can't be a totally bad thing. It is just that I want so desperately to pull the thing. I have had a couple of stabs at it but I guess the Girl thought it was too painful to complete.

Last night she sat in her bed, the room dark, and bid me to pray with her before she dropped off.
"I know something," she said.
"What is that?"
She pointed at me and gave me a wide-eyed look. "You, are the toothfairy."
"What?" I could barely cover my smile in the dark. But she could see me.
"I see you smirking," she said, "You and Dad are totally the toothfairy."
"What makes you think that?" I said, trying not to look at her full in the eye.
"Because fairies aren't real and I know you sneak in the bathroom, take the tooth from the cup, and put money in instead."
"Yes, I know it." She looked triumphant. "What would a toothfairy do with teeth anyway?" she said.
"I don't know, maybe build a tooth sculpture?" I was thinking of this Arthur I saw when the Oldest was little.
"You saw that on an Arthur," she said.
"Well----{The Oldest} believes it," I shrugged.
"That's because he is a boy and boys are dumb. I am a girl."
Now that I think of it, it did take a girl to convince a friend's son that Santa was dead. He wept all day on account of it.


RickCapezza said...


Ba Doozer said...

you're so totally cheating....you have to put the tooth under the pillow and forget about it accidently like all the rest of us failure toothfairies...putting it in the bathroom is too easy!

~Jennifer said...

My son didn't believe in the tooth fairy either. One time when he was telling a friend about his loose tooth my friend inquired about the tooth fairy and the boo said, "The tooth fairy doesn't exist." My friend said, "What?! I suppose you don't believe in Santa either." The boo said, "Oh no, Santa's real. I saw him eating at Shari's."

R said...

Rick---Thanks. I think she is pretty funny myself. She must get it from Dear Sir.

Ba Doozie--I wish I could say that the cup was my idea and all, but it was not. In fact, I never put my teeth under a pillow for my parents to snatch and stuff money to replace them. I don't even remember anything except the fun of pulling my teeth out. I loved doing it. But---I would not put it past my parents to just fork over a quarter instead of putting silly fairies in my head. I really don't remember what my parents did. Probably nothing. Apparently it was not very remarkable since I don't remember it.

On the other hand, Dear Sir's parents used a cup full of water by the sink in the bathroom. You drop the tooth into it and lo and behold, in the morning the cup is filled with money. Well, a bit of money is on the bottom of the cup. I was not very particular when we started his traditional madness because I never really had a tradition or whatever, so it makes sense to me! Yes, it is like cheating! I like that! No mess, no sneaking, and thank goodness for those smart Norwegians---where would we be?

Jennifer---That is absolutely hilarious. I had a good laugh over Santa eating at Shari's. So familiar, like it happens all the time. Your kids are little comedians.

shealyisnottheantichrist said...

She is absolutely gorgeous!
In later years, this will stress you out, so enjoy it now.
You are hilarious!

Carolanne said...

So how much does the tooth fairy pay for a tooth these days? I think I was lucky if I got 10c and couple times got 20c. Now kids these days at my school get a dollar or two.

Do you keep any of their teeth for reminiscing later on? Wait until the tooth is hanging by a thread and then pull it out!

Avery Gray said...

Boys ARE dumb. Except the ones that aren't. Wait. Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. Boys are dumb.

R said...


Carolanne--I don't pay them much. I put a couple of quarters in there if I find some. Sometimes a dollar if I can find one.

The tooth is presently hanging by a thread, but I have remained full of self-control despite that (pat me on the back). I don't like keeping teeth. Apparently we throw lots of stuff away at my house.

Avery--I agree with you and my daughter. My boys hear my daughter bring up the idea that I am the Tooth Fairy and they refuse to believe it. Enough said, huh?