10/26/2007

Words I Hate

My knee just jolted in a sharp sort of pain (it wasn't really painful, just like a small electric shock) so I took that as maybe a sign to stop running this morning. So I only made it two miles today. On a ten and a half minute mile. On the treadmill, running a ten and a half with no incline is like walking. It does so little for me I could probably give a speech or something. So I guess if my knee sends out a little shock I need to quit for the day.

But before the pain came, I was thinking about words I hate. I was just reading Avery Gray's blog and she somehow inspired me into thinking about this. She was going on about words at one point. There are a few words or phrases I can't stand. For starters, I took a potty break between miles and saw one of my Cooking Light magazines in a basket by the pot and saw the word "healthful". I hate that word. I don't know why people use it, I think "healthy" just about covers it, healthful is just plain dumb sounding.

Then that got me thinking about the word "tender". If I ever have to use that word (I even wince when I have to use it to describe meat) I always slap a "or whatever" at the end of it because of sheer embarrassment. Soft doesn't cut it, so I guess I should take the time to grab a thesaurus and see if there is an alternative I can study for times I have to use that stupid word. I knew a girl in high school that used that word every other sentence to express her sentimentalism. All I could think about whenever she entered a room were posters of dogs or cats licking each other and hearts surrounding them. Or else I think of a long, pointy skewer prodding a big piece of raw, red meat.

After that, I thought of the word "special". Special is so overused, so ridiculous and trite sounding that it makes me barf. I would rather use the word "unique" but unique can mean good and bad. Special means both. Again, I need to search for alternatives. Just so you know, I am not really so dumb, I just have issues with words coming into my head quickly enough for them to exit my mouth with precision. I'm probably autistic.

I hate the word "precious". I HATE it. I will never use it. It makes me think about Precious Moments and fluffy animals bouncing around with high-pitched voices on fluffy clouds. Oh gee whiz, I just described a Care Bear. But that is what I mean. Some colorful, chipper bears blasting happiness on someone melancholy with their rainbow colored bellies. How vile. I knew a woman once who carried around a chihuahua. I really think those things are annoying. Anyway, she put a shirt on it that said, "precious possession." I know, exactly.

I hate the phrase rat race. I can't stand the word "huckleberry." I do, however, like Twain's book, shockingly enough.

And I've noticed that I hate words that are sort of happy and gleeful. I have issues with the word gleeful, but it describes these words pretty well, I guess. I think I am a happy person, I just have issues with people that can never be serious. To me, there's nothing worse than a person who is bouncy and happy all the time and then pulls out the "negativity go away" sign when anyone sounds a bit dirge-y. When I see that I think brainwashed. A little too much Joel Osteen and maybe what's her name---Joyce Meyer---penetrating the brain. Not that I watch either of them---when flipping channels I would catch snippets but would have to turn the channel because it made me so sick. But that all could be a different post entirely.

I hope your day is full of tender, precious moments. Here is an alternative version: I hope your day is full of delicate, high-priced moments. No. Delicate, invaluable moments. Delicate, priceless moments. How about dainty (oh wait, I have to puke) exquisite moments.

Just have a day full of garbage and malarkey.

8 comments:

Jennifer said...

I have a similar reaction to "healthful", but I'm really okay with your other hated words. I use the word "tender" to describe a zit that hurts, though. :-D

Ba Doozer said...

I hate the word succulent...and you might have to use that one to describe tender meat.

shealyisnottheantichrist said...

Even my pastor has issues with Joel Osteen.

Anne said...

I don't like "healthful" either. Healthful: Full of health. Health that is full. Filled up with health. Healthy fullness. Just plum full of health.

R said...

Jennifer---LOL.

Badoozie---You know, I hate that word too! No one can say that seriously, I bet. NO one. Can you? "Gee, this meat is so SUCCULENT!" Sounds ridiculous.

Shealy---That's a shock.

Anne---LOL. It sounds made up. Like, "impactful." Healthy was doing just fine until healthful came along. Now everyone uses that dumb word. Drives me nuts.

Avery Gray said...

You are so special and precious to me. I'm just here eating my huckleberry pie--the tender crust is delightful, but the filling is actually quite healthful--and when I saw my name, well, my expression could only be described as gleeful. Such a departure from the constant rat race of blogging, your post brought a smile to my face.

Oh, and I'm tagging you for a meme today. ;o)

R said...

Avery---Sorry it took me a spell to reply to this---which, it completely deserves a response. You obviously thought of all that crazy malarkey off the top of your head and all I can say is: You and Emma Sometimes were separated at birth????????

That was top notch, I must say. And I hated every second of it....

Maashu said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.