8/21/2007

Gibberish

My chicken is most likely burning on the grill as I type. Burn, smurn. I don't care. I will probably not participate in dinner tonight, but just eat a powerbar instead anyway. Rations.

Let me check the poultry, I'll be right back...

More and more I have been more incredulous with my laziness this ongoing summer. It took yesterday to finally get me to clean the grill (which should be done weekly but I do it monthly if that). I had been putting up with the bits of ash and whatnot catching on fire, toasting whatever it is I am grilling (let's just say the usual, chicken), and I have to be quick about blowing out the flames manually. And I mean, with my mouth and my hair pulled back.

I tried doing this while on the phone last week and it worked, but my friend on the other line was on the floor or off the side of her couch laughing so hard I was a little embarrassed. You see, it is all because I am too blastedly lazy to clean the thing. I don't take the time lately. I just run my stupid butt off and then tire myself out with that and do nothing else. Well, that's not true, but close. "Hold on---POOF! POOF! The fire is a little smaller, uh, just hold on one more second---POOF! POOF!--it singed my hair. Gross...uh, POOF! There it goes. All out now."

So I cleaned the thing yesterday so nothing flamingly spectacular is going on out there except some usual cooking. Nothing burning, nothing in flames. That's good, eh?

This morning in my haste to get the kids to the free summer movie, we found that one of our trash cans was demolished. I mean, run clean over and twisted so much so that it looks much like a green plastic tuba. I thought it was the trash guys (they are my favorite people anyway) but alas, Dear Sir emailed me and informed all of us that it was not the trash people that did it, but he did, and it took him a great many pulls forward in the car to get the can out from under the tire. I just love it. This is a can though that has a missing wheel, is utterly useless, and is missing a lid (the exceedingly wondrous trash guys lost it and refused to reimburse me), so Dear Sir said this, "I will hack the can apart somehow and throw it away..."

Yeah, that will be fruitful. The garbage guys take ANYTHING, including dead people, lawn mowers, Christmas trees, sharp objects, you get the picture. Why would they not take a demolished garbage can? How will Dear Sir hack this thing apart, I wonder? With Pampered Chef kitchen shears?

Dear Sir, how will you do this act of wonderment? Don't shake your head at me!

Well, the chicken is probably burned by NOW, so I better go tend to it.

Be at peace my friends and don't run over any trash cans, ok? Clean your grills, put out your fires. It's dangerous out there...

6 comments:

Anne said...

At least you know how to use the grill. We use charcoal - we are in the dark ages. When you use charcoal you want to cook every piece of meat in the house while the grill is hot.

If Dear Sir happens to hack up the can with Pampered Chef shears please get a video for us. :)

Lisa said...

I was going to say something really deep and meaningful, but I started laughing and my mind went blank.

How was the chicken?

Dapoppins said...

your suppose to clean those?

shealyisnottheantichrist said...

I have been having the same "live to run, and hate to clean things" problem at my house.

Emma Sometimes said...

I thought you just filled your back trunk and drove to a movie theater????? Garbage cans????

R said...

Anne--I think he read this post and now he knows that the garbage men will pick it up. I was quite interested to see what he would do though. Darn it, he reads my blasted blog.

Lisa--the chicken was nice. I didn't eat it though.

Dapoppins---yep. I hate every minute of it.

Shealy---I feel so comforted by that comment.

Emma--Are you on crack? Maybe I am. I sat and read your comment for ten minutes last night trying to figure out what it means. Either I am dense or you drank a gallon of coffee and blitzed out because I am lost! LOL!!! I feel like I just listened to hours of Pink Floyd and banged my head against a wall....