My chicken is most likely burning on the grill as I type. Burn, smurn. I don't care. I will probably not participate in dinner tonight, but just eat a powerbar instead anyway. Rations.
Let me check the poultry, I'll be right back...
More and more I have been more incredulous with my laziness this ongoing summer. It took yesterday to finally get me to clean the grill (which should be done weekly but I do it monthly if that). I had been putting up with the bits of ash and whatnot catching on fire, toasting whatever it is I am grilling (let's just say the usual, chicken), and I have to be quick about blowing out the flames manually. And I mean, with my mouth and my hair pulled back.
I tried doing this while on the phone last week and it worked, but my friend on the other line was on the floor or off the side of her couch laughing so hard I was a little embarrassed. You see, it is all because I am too blastedly lazy to clean the thing. I don't take the time lately. I just run my stupid butt off and then tire myself out with that and do nothing else. Well, that's not true, but close. "Hold on---POOF! POOF! The fire is a little smaller, uh, just hold on one more second---POOF! POOF!--it singed my hair. Gross...uh, POOF! There it goes. All out now."
So I cleaned the thing yesterday so nothing flamingly spectacular is going on out there except some usual cooking. Nothing burning, nothing in flames. That's good, eh?
This morning in my haste to get the kids to the free summer movie, we found that one of our trash cans was demolished. I mean, run clean over and twisted so much so that it looks much like a green plastic tuba. I thought it was the trash guys (they are my favorite people anyway) but alas, Dear Sir emailed me and informed all of us that it was not the trash people that did it, but he did, and it took him a great many pulls forward in the car to get the can out from under the tire. I just love it. This is a can though that has a missing wheel, is utterly useless, and is missing a lid (the exceedingly wondrous trash guys lost it and refused to reimburse me), so Dear Sir said this, "I will hack the can apart somehow and throw it away..."
Yeah, that will be fruitful. The garbage guys take ANYTHING, including dead people, lawn mowers, Christmas trees, sharp objects, you get the picture. Why would they not take a demolished garbage can? How will Dear Sir hack this thing apart, I wonder? With Pampered Chef kitchen shears?
Dear Sir, how will you do this act of wonderment? Don't shake your head at me!
Well, the chicken is probably burned by NOW, so I better go tend to it.
Be at peace my friends and don't run over any trash cans, ok? Clean your grills, put out your fires. It's dangerous out there...