Pretty much all I am going to write right now is depressing stuff because I am kind of depressed lately. Especially today. I feel like sitting down and having a cry, but then my kids would think I went insane. It is a good thing to not be alone in this world, that God provides people that you create (like children) and the person who you love (who helped you create).
I am not going to get into detail about my sadness. Life can be just a plain disappointment laughing in your face. I hate time but I love it too. When my father died it helped bring home that our lives are short and we do not have time to do the things we thought we could do. We make decisions and things happen to us. Or we make them happen to us. Whatever it is, I don't care. What I am saying is we ourselves are to blame for where we are at, a good place or a bad place. My neighbor can tell me I "don't know how good (I) have it" but she has no clue what a fight it was and is to maintain. It is work, this life. Hard work, if we want to make it good. Things just don't happen, very few win the lottery, very few make the book to the publisher, very few do a great thing that will be remembered.
The only hope is God, I know. But it is all still depressing, a long continual crumbling of the mountain. I am in a bad place right now, full of uncertainties, disappointments and frustrations. At least I have the bikes safely in the shed.