Yesterday my SIL and I took the kids to the pool. It was closed down because someone pooped in it, so we went to the lake instead, right next to the pool. The pool was supposedly to open in about an hour, so the lake was a good alternative to keep the kids busy.
Like I have told you before, my oldest is petrified of insects. Especially flying ones. He was reluctant to go to the pool but then when he found that we decided to go to the lake, all he could think about was dragonflies. He stood on the sand and cried in utter terror while I tried to calm him down by telling him to "calm down" and "sit by me on the towel". He kept saying that the towel was "too close to the water" but I paid him no heed. I did not want to move and besides, the sun was in my eyes making me absolutely weary. My SIL and the other kids played in the lake while all this malarkey was going on. Other people were at the lake too, but I think they were a little too far down to see my son absolutely freaking out. He wasn't just terrified. He was crying, shaking, and immobile. This absolutely angered me. I know, I am heartless, but it did. There is only so much one can take and I think I was at my full capacity. First of all, we never go outside much on account of him, and then when we DO go out, we are made fools of. I keep going back to the same old junk I guess because I never learn. I constantly have to learn that my child is not a "normal" child and I have to think creatively about this instead of "normal".
And please, do NOT say that it is perfectly normal to be utterly petrified of flying bugs. People that see scenes like this say that to make me feel better. I hate to be lied to.
So, my dear, dear SIL saw how I was about to lose it from the foot of the lake where she was standing. I was standing in front of my son, shouting in his ear (I know, real calm, eh?) to "calm down". She smoothly came alongside my son and rubbed on his back and said, "T--, let's pray about this. Let's pray that God will protect you from the bugs. He created the bugs and He also controls them. He made them and He also made them to do His will. He knows that you are afraid of bugs so I think that if we pray, He will control them to stay clear of you and He will also help you stay calm and give you courage."
She prayed. She also prayed that I would be calm (which I needed---I was about to whack his head off). She also made him pray as well and he did. I sighed in serenity when we were through, and she proceeded to talk him through sitting down next to her. He looked here and there a few times in terror, but somehow she got him to do what she wanted (it was very time consuming, I will admit) and then he felt that he needed her to "survive" the rest of the trip to the lake. If she left, I was an "ok" substitute but "she better come back soon!" We dug in the sand and then headed to the pool.
Now, if anyone knows anything that I can do (next to this) to better help my son (he has Asperger's Syndrome---a high functioning form of Autism), please let me know. If anyone gets me angry and mad, it is him. I love this boy so much, but I often get in the way of a better solution. I realize that I need help in this, but he needs a sort of tangible help where I can better deal with the horrors of outside with him. I have tried insect sprays like "off". Like I have said, he read the directions and indications and he sees that it does not ward off bees and dragonflies.