Post Traumatic Stress & Kissing Serious Butt

Yesterday the kids down the street decided to all pile in my house. I almost wept openly when I saw that they were in my bedroom jumping on my bed. Someone had picked up my guitar and carelessly placed it over my night stand. I completely became unglued. 

So I went downstairs, made more sugar scrub and drank some wine. Well, first I banished all the children from my house and made my own kids read. 

The Oldest is really milking it lately. The other day he discovered that I am the reason he is not getting his gameboy back just yet. His eyes widened upon the news.

"Are you serious? Usually it is the other way around!" He was shocked.

"Yeah, well Dad was just saying to me that he thinks you could get your gameboy back but I told him I was not so sure and so he said for me to make the final decision."

He turned to me (we were in the car and he was in the passenger's seat) and said, "Mom, do you know how much I love you?"

"Nice try," I said flatly.

"No, really. And if I didn't have to come with you to the post office like you ordered I would have done the dishes without your telling me! Really! It was on my mind to do!"

"Yep, I bet."

The rest of the day he decided to help me with everything. Oh here let me get this for you, and let me handle that, kind of stuff. As he was putting cut potatoes in a bowl for me he said, "You know, if you give me my gameboy now you know I will lose it in a matter of days and I will do your bidding for it again anyway." 

"True," I said. 

He doesn't realize that I take it away because he is obsessed with it, not because I want him to do things for me. He has to do that anyway whether he likes it or not. 

The Professor and I should give it back to him soon though so that we can now quit rolling our eyes whenever he says, "I love you!!!!"


Mrs. Sinta said...

This was quite an enlightening post for me because I see that you are acting like God, working in your son's best interests, and he assumes that you have his lower motive, of only wanting a performance out of him.

I have been acting like the Oldest in my relationship with God.

The Doozie said...

You should probably just smash it with a hammer. No...don't do that, that is psycho. Maybe you should just let him play it non stop for however long he wants, kind of like a Mrs. Piggle Wiggle solution, where he gets so sick of it he never touches it again

Todd said...

Your oldest sounds a bit like Eddie Haskell!

Aunt Jo said...

it's an addiction i tell ya!

thislittlepiggy said...

Snort. I'm sorry, was that rude of me? I have one of these kids at my house too. ;o)

Leslee said...

LOL! Peanut does that too only she's 8. She's not quite as good at sucking up though.