8/13/2008

Anesthesia

Yesterday the Professor had to get a medical procedure done. He had to get put out, so he doesn't remember squat. All he knew was that he was being wheeled into a room and some nurses were talking---then he woke up. This is the first time he has ever had anesthesia.
"It's sort of nice, isn't it?" I said to him, having had anesthesia several times for a few minor procedures myself.

"Yeah, it's like a miracle. One minute you are awake and you want to partake in a conversation, the next you wake up."

"And it had been two hours or something like that."

"That's just nuts," he said, shaking his head, "besides enduring starvation the day before in order to get this done, I rather enjoyed myself. I think I am looking forward to the next time I have to get that done. It's incredible. It's great. The best sleep I ever had..."

He already gets good sleep, the scoundrel.

And he discovered this while he was lying around in bed all day because the doctor said he needed bed rest, his favorite prescription.

"Isn't this incredible!!!????" he yelped from the sheets, laptop on his immobile legs.

I looked over his shoulder, music blaring. John Coltrane. Oasis. They kept playing his stuff. Over and over. He shook his head in unbelief. "How is this legal?!" he said wondrously.

I rolled my eyes. "I told you about this MONTHS ago."

"What? You did?"

"Yep. I told you about it and you didn't care then!"

"Are you sure?!"

"Yeah, I'm real sure." I remembered how I entered Eisley in my account and they starting playing endless tunes similar to them. Pretty soon I got sick of it and turned it all off. I am not that impressed with it.

Then, he got the notion to look on Google Maps. Oh man, he started showing me real live road pictures of the school he went to as a kid, the church, the gym, the dorms people lived in. The list goes on and on. The dude remembered EVERYTHING. No anesthesia there. He decided to be "fair" I think in his mind, although I know he has absolutely no interest, and look at the house I grew up in in Chino Hills. Perfect roads emerged with palm trees on either side. The house I once knew looked nothing like the house I lived in. In fact, it looked like an impostor house. It even had a palm tree in the yard.

"This isn't the house," I said, slightly annoyed.

"You mean you don't remember any of this?!" the Professor said, shocked and disappointed by my failure of a memory.

"No, none of it. It doesn't even look like the same house."

"Are you sure you have the address right?"

"Yeah. That's it. Gotta make dinner. Why don't you come down with me?"

"Doctor's orders. He said I should get plenty of rest, remember?" he shot me a smile. He was LOVING this.

"You already got plenty of rest. You have been in bed all day. You even got a nap---"

"Yeah, and it was a great nap. I don't remember anything. I was lying there staring at the ceiling wondering if I would fall asleep and then the next thing I remember I woke up and was in the same exact position, two hours later. Was it two hours? How long exactly was it?"

I lovingly rolled my eyes again. In some ways he was like King Peter, fresh from Narnia and all his adventures, back in England again to tell me, his wife, about it. The scoundrel. I want some anesthesia.

7 comments:

SprinklerBandit said...

I see where your kids get it. ;-)

Mrs. Sinta said...

The men in his family are all big weenies when it comes to sickness or medical procedures. They milk them for all they can get. Don't ask me how I know this.

R said...

Both of you---tell me about it. Really.

thislittlepiggy said...

Jay has never been under. I think it may take something akin to an elephant tranquilizer...

Aunt Jo said...

UJ professed his adoration of his doctor while under the foggy after effects of anesthesia several years ago. I tried to talk him into buying me a new diamond ring but the nurse scolded me.

The Doozie said...

I hated that stuff, they tried to kill me with it. I was supposed to wake up but it took hours and hours for me to even be able to eat some toast.

what is his problem is he high on pain meds or something???

Laura said...

rachel you're so funny I just love you loads