Not Fair

I am sad no one really read my prior brilliance, but no matter.

The ONE day the Oldest marches downstairs and declares, "Mom, I am here to let you know," (we were in the kitchen)" that I will now do the dishes without you telling me!"

I thought it was a trick of some sort. I was waiting for a hammer to come down on my head, a bucket of slime to dump on me, a Nerf bullet to dart me in the eye----but no. I looked at him blankly.

He stood there with a smile on his face. You know, he smiles in a way that makes him look like he is holding his breath or forcing it a little.

I had just looked at the dishes in the dishwasher before he came down and what do you know, they were dirty.

"The day you decide to do something when you are not told and there is nothing for you to do."

"What?! Oh well." He jumped upstairs.

I found a jellied orange slice and called him downstairs. "Here is a reward for your nice gesture," I said.

"Wow! Thanks!" he yelped as he turned around, popped the entirety of the slice in his mouth and bounded up the stairs. I could hear him from the corner of the house yelling out demands to his imaginary army, orange on his breath.