Deaf Child

"Don't tell her, Mom, she can't keep secrets!" roared Eraser-Eater this morning.

She was asking about the neighbor and all this stuff going on that I can't explain because it is "adulty".

"But I won't say anything!" she yelped.

"Yeah, she will!" said Eraser Eater. "She almost told Dad about a birthday present you got him last week, and then last father's day when you got him a popcorn maker she blabbed that out, so I wouldn't say anything to her.
That's the day when {the Oldest} said, 'what? a pasta maker?' Like, we would ever get Dad a pasta maker. He doesn't even like pasta! And he can't even hear! Popcorn maker?! Pasta Maker?! We need to get a deaf child sign for the front of our street with him around!" He was waving one arm up in the air and skipping from one foot to the other.

"Hey! I can hear cars!" barked the Oldest from behind a book.

I was laughing so hard I could hardly stand and make breakfast. Life with the Oldest IS like this.
"I will be there in a minute," I would say.
"You will be here in a limit? What's that supposed to mean?" he would respond, completely offended.

"I'm losing interest," I would say.
"You're making cookies for breakfast?" he would respond, very eager to eat this special breakfast.

He comes up with weird stuff and he is totally not messing with me. He even gets angry if the statement does not make sense like I am the one trying to fool him. Either he has a hearing problem or he is so focused on whatever it is he is doing that he only hears the tail end then guesses. I think it is the first and the Prof. thinks it is the latter. I guess he could get his ears checked but last time he was normal. Still funny though. Poor kid.