More

I have a new song up on my podcast. Go give it a listen. And listen to the other ones if you have not done that already! I will be pleased as punch.

Braces and Working

I am finally getting used to the braces. By next week I will be going back to the ortho and they will put in heavier wiring in addition to pulling things tighter. So, once you get used to it all, you are back to the pain game. The freaky thing is that my teeth are all loose, so it feels sort of strange that I can jolt my molars and whatnot around with my tongue.

I have been chewing gum like a mad woman (the acceptable sugarless kind) so I do not experience severe halitosis like Shealy warned. So far it has been going well. Except you find all manner of people who enjoy the lingering smell of watermelon or blueberry so much that they ask you if you have a spare stick. Last night one of my co-workers (she is a teenager) asked me for a piece of my fabulous smelling gum. For some reason I have no issues saying no or ordering her around since she at times has no idea what she is doing. I did give her a piece eventually though.

Another associate approached us as we were labeling merchandise and started speaking German to the teenager. They both started off in their language, waving their arms about.

"Hey," I said, "To speak another language that you know another associate does not speak is forbidden."

They looked at me with wide eyes. "Diversity training," I said, "remember?"

The intruding associate walked off.

"She was just telling me that I had dirt all over my {rear end}," the teenager said.

Parent's Day

I forgot to post about Father's Day.

Everyone seems to be posting about it and I completely ignored it. We went to the Professor's sister's house for the festivities and then went home and called the Prof's Dad.

I got the Prof. an Adidas jacket (that is green, mind you---I couldn't help myself), a tie, and a silicon barbecue baster. He made these incredible ribs (with some help from his wife) and now he is Bobby Flay.

He needed a utensil since he got me a knife set for Mother's Day. Yes, a knife set. Doozie would be proud.

The fact is, I really can't stand Mother's or Father's Day. I think that it is silly to have a day where you are celebrated for being a parent and then you don't have to be a parent for the day. But I am sure everyone says that. I remember when Mother's Day hit people behind counters and at various stores and what not kept saying, "Have a happy Mother's Day!"
Not a kid was in sight. "How do you know I am a mother?" I would ask.
"I didn't. I just hope you have a happy Mother's Day," they would say.
"Do I look like a mother?"
"No, actually, you don't, but it is a holiday so I thought I would say happy Mother's Day anyway."

Is it like "Merry Christmas?"
I don't get it. Really, I don't.

Appendix

Yesterday was not a good day. I can, however, look at it now and laugh at it.

Right when I was doing a little recording Eraser Eater was moaning about on the couch saying that his "thigh" hurt. It is not uncommon for the boy to whine about nothing just for the sake of attention and his apparent love of crying. {he has actually admitted that he loves to cry} I had no tolerance for it. Finally, after more and more whining, I went to him to see what was the matter. Apparently he was experiencing pain in his abdomen/groin area, not his thigh. He was refusing to walk or stand up straight; he would crawl around if he was not on the love seat drawing his designs. He also cried out a little when I pressed on the area with my hand.

At some point during the day the Professor called. "Oh yeah," I said, "{Eraser Eater} says that his abdomen hurts."
The Professor was very concerned. He wondered why I wasn't. "I don't know why you are so non-challant about this, Rach," he said. To be honest, I had not hydrated myself properly and my back hurt, so I was not in the mood to deal with Eraser Eater's issues. I figured if it were his appendix, the pain would be on the other side and he would be screaming. I had the Oldest pour him a glass of water. The Professor insisted that I call the doctor before I had to go to work later that night.

So I did.

And I got him in.

And they thought maybe it was a hernia and he needed an ultrasound the next day.

So they scheduled one and I went home and made dinner before work.

As we were eating, Eraser Eater put down his second sandwich (we had croissant sandwiches) and said, "I have to poop."

I rolled my eyes.

After he bombed the house with his stench, I called him to me. "Do you feel any more pain?"

"Nope!" He smiled.

"Let me press your area," I said.

I pressed it.

He laughed.

I canceled the ultrasound.

I called the Professor. "He had to go to the bathroom," I said, pretty angrily.

"Yeah, I thought that was it at first," he said.

I wondered at that moment if gnawing on the wooden chair next to me would be appropriate.

Yet Another Song Up

I am really sorry but I have another song that I finished or just sort of finished. At least I am done with it for now.

Go give it a listen. And um, really do it this time, k? I bet you all are so sick of this!!! Ha ha.

New Song Alert

I just semi-finished a crazy song called You Watch Me on my podcast. Go give it a listen, pronto.

Learning

What I learned outside in the real world this week:

1. I don't look like I would like the Disney movie, Alice in Wonderland. (The funny thing is, I have been talking about it this week on here and I didn't mention it. Someone at work asked me what my favorite Disney film was and I answered and she replied. Hers was Cinderella.)

2. I have been married too long because I didn't know the meaning of metrosexual. A fellow employee was talking about how he needed to get his eyebrows plucked and I gave him a pat on the shoulder to notify him that he is indeed a guy and should not worry about such trivial things.

3. I look like a Charlotte if my name were not my own name. Make sense? Huh.

4. I look like other people I work with because one lady said that I looked identical to another associate and she thought I was helping her, which I wasn't. For the record, I looked nothing like my fellow associate. Nothing. That lady is on crack.

5. I am good at finding things, but of course, I knew this.

6. If you don't eat food you forget to give people their receipts.

7. When water touches leather excessively without getting wiped, it ruins it.

8. I am "proper." I think it is because I don't let the kids watch Shrek because they burp and fart on there.

And I am out of stuff.

Deaf Child

"Don't tell her, Mom, she can't keep secrets!" roared Eraser-Eater this morning.

She was asking about the neighbor and all this stuff going on that I can't explain because it is "adulty".

"But I won't say anything!" she yelped.

"Yeah, she will!" said Eraser Eater. "She almost told Dad about a birthday present you got him last week, and then last father's day when you got him a popcorn maker she blabbed that out, so I wouldn't say anything to her.
That's the day when {the Oldest} said, 'what? a pasta maker?' Like, we would ever get Dad a pasta maker. He doesn't even like pasta! And he can't even hear! Popcorn maker?! Pasta Maker?! We need to get a deaf child sign for the front of our street with him around!" He was waving one arm up in the air and skipping from one foot to the other.

"Hey! I can hear cars!" barked the Oldest from behind a book.

I was laughing so hard I could hardly stand and make breakfast. Life with the Oldest IS like this.
"I will be there in a minute," I would say.
"You will be here in a limit? What's that supposed to mean?" he would respond, completely offended.

"I'm losing interest," I would say.
"You're making cookies for breakfast?" he would respond, very eager to eat this special breakfast.

He comes up with weird stuff and he is totally not messing with me. He even gets angry if the statement does not make sense like I am the one trying to fool him. Either he has a hearing problem or he is so focused on whatever it is he is doing that he only hears the tail end then guesses. I think it is the first and the Prof. thinks it is the latter. I guess he could get his ears checked but last time he was normal. Still funny though. Poor kid.

Another Song

Be sure to stop by my music site for another song recently added.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

When I was a little girl I read Lewis Carroll's Alice and enjoyed it much. I think though that I had more of an interest in the Disney movie than the book itself because I remember not really getting the humor or understanding what was going on as well as say, one of my homeschooled children. My seven year old daughter could hear excerpts and be rolling around on the floor laughing.

About a month ago I was reading the book to my daughter and found myself enjoying it so much that last night I sneaked it up into bed and read until I feel asleep. The Professor sat next to me Brady style and read his Calvin's Institutes. He has been reading this book for about eight years, no joke. I was laughing so hard when reading the poem "Old Father William" that he stared at me and shook his head.

"Please don't read it to me," he said.

I had already read him a small excerpt of when Alice was swimming in her own tears and talking to a small mouse who was also swimming for its life. She kept talking about her cat Dinah and forgetting that mice don't like cats and the mouse was getting hotly offended. It was just funny. I was giggling as I read it to him but he cut me off in the middle and said, "is it almost over?" like Calvin is so much more interesting. He in turn read his book to me for a spell and I hardly understood what was going on. I consider myself a fairly smart individual.

So here is my two favorite stanzas of William because it made me laugh so hard:

"'You are old', said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak---
Pray, how did you manage to do it?'

'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.'"

I have no idea really why it struck me so funny. The Professor later said to me in a voice of warning, "You know, that Victorians book I have says that Carroll was a weirdo."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Um, I know."

Weirdos are just ridiculously funny people.

A Little Coaxing

When schooling the kids the other day I gave Eraser Eater a list of words to look up in the dictionary since I have to occupy him with supplemental work:

1. vile

2. baleful

3. irate

4. insolent

5. morbid

6. sanguine

Don't you love the last word? So nice. I thought it stood out so well among the others.

I took the Girl and the crew to a water park about an hour away on Friday for her birthday celebration. We had a good time. The Prof remained at work and my sister in law and her kids came along. We also brought the neighbor girl. They all had a blast.

My Oldest was too afraid for the first half of the time to go down the big water slide with an inner tube. He openly wept at one point of sheer frustration that he could not muster up the courage to do it. He would climb all the flights of stairs to get to the top, only to cower down in the corner and watch the line of people meet their doom.

"I can't do it," he would say like Mickey Mouse.
"Look dude. All you have to do is sit in the tube thing and I will push you. Nothing will hurt you," then I proceeded to tell him for the tenth time what you encounter during the long slide down.

He still refused to do it. He would stare at me immobile, like he usually does when he is irrationally, yet neutrally frightened. I don't know how to explain that one---it must be an Aspergian trait he has.

While this was going on, Eraser Eater had already visibly gone down the slide umpteen times. The Oldest was watching him pass by every time out of the corner of his eye.

Finally, once the Girl made the plunge he could stand it no longer. He marched up the steps and made his presence known. I met him up and I was ready. He sat down on the tube and shuddered. "I don't want to go on this anymore..." he squealed.

"Bye!" I said as I pushed him down. At each flight you can see your child round a curve and look at their faces. At first he looked straight up at me and waved his fist in the air exclaiming, "You will pay for this!" Next, he was furrowing his brow and staring at me with a slight smile on his lips. And finally, he was laughing and screeching with his arms up in pure delight. "I love this ride!" he shouted from the bottom.