I Am an Animal

I probably never talked about it much, but I am preparing for a gig tomorrow night. And that is all I will say about that. I got roped into singing "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd (now that is the only Floyd song I know) and it has magically turned into my favorite song we are doing.

We are supposed to head out to the beach on Friday night but I discovered there is a chance of rain, but I guess we will head out anyway. I can tell Dear Sir is looking for any way out he can get because he would rather stay home and read books.

At this point in my existence I just want to get tomorrow night over and I will be ok. So what should I wear? Anyone with suggestions?

You know, at times I talk like a valley girl to my Girl. She gets tired of it, I think. She shakes her head at me and smiles saying, "Mom..." She knows that I am from California and you know, this is my flipping heritage. You talk like a ditz, flip your hair out of your face, and insert a "like" about every other word. I do it on purpose though. It is not like I like, talk like that all the time? K? So...my Girl was being especially cute when she said "a gazillion?" After correcting her and rolling my eyes, I laughed heartily and said, "Really, like, a gazillion? What?! I mean, what other choice would it be, like, it couldn't be a thousand or something..." (I can't remember really what I said, I just said it like a moron valley girl).

She looked at me and shook her head like usual. "Mom, sometimes I wish you were never borned in that place..."

And so I will let you know how it all goes tomorrow at some point. Maybe the next day. BTW--school is eating me alive. I am turning into an animal. I am not human. For example:
I am looking in a cupboard for something. "Hey, {Oldest}, where are you at?" I call from inside the shelf.
"AT THE TABLE," says my Oldest, "Where else would I be?"
Ok. I know that is terrible. It IS terrible. I know that if I would have said that to my dad I would have had my neck twisted in half. If I told that to my mom, I would have had the same thing happen because she would nark on me. I almost cower at the sound of back talk, not because it is being said to me, but because I associate it with pain. Lots of it.

I stand up from looking in the cupboard. "Excuse me?!" I bark.
"Well," he says unthinkingly, "if you ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer."

"Bye Game Cube!" I say.
{Insert weeping and gnashing of teeth}

I almost bit him, but then I would then prove that I truly have turned into an animal but you know, I don't want Dear Sir knowing *what* he indeed has married. It will be our little secret.


KingJaymz said...

HAH! I love it. If it were Eraser Eater, I'd say make him eat while the oldest sits shirtless next to him. Maybe release some dragon flies in his room?

What should you wear? If you don't already have a tat to show off, it's probably a little late to get one. It depends on what you're playing, aside from Pink Floyd. You can never go wrong with an Aerosmith bandana tied around your mic, though.

shealyisnottheantichrist said...

Backchat should disturb you because you are supposed to deal with it. If you don't deal with the Oldest(or whoever does it first), your school will be bedlam. It might be more effective to publicly explain that he has broken commandment number 5, and that you are leaving the room to deal with it. After spanking and profound repentance and forgiveness, I would return to "class" with my transformed student. Usually this does not have to be repeated often, if you are consistent. My kids are jokesters, but if I said the words, "Number 5," and held up five fingers, then knew they needed to shape up, or dire consequences would follow with the rod. Don't use your hand. You don't want them to be afraid of your hands. Amazing how the rod works like the cross to take away their sinfulness.

~Jennifer said...

Good luck tomorrow night, or "break a leg" or whatever is appropriate. :-)

You'll do great, I have no doubt.

Anonymous said...

Wow, so like, you now know one more Pink Floyd song than I do. I'd like love to hear your version - I'm like sure it's better than the original. You will do like great, but I like certainly understand that like just-wish-it-was-over feeling. Break like a like leg!

Dapoppins said...

How did the gig go?