Today I officially get braces. I mean, I just get them on the bottom half of my mouth. I am not looking forward to it and I don't want to explain it to all of you, but I have some straightening issues way in the back that need attending to. As the dentist and the orthodontist say, it is imperative. I just don't look forward to it at all because I hate metal. Metal in my mouth is worse. Not only do I have to close registers lately and touch coinage, I have to have metallic cords and whatnot in my mouth. This is going to sound ignorant, but will I be able to sing or eat?

I dread this. And I imagine it will not feel good either, contrary to what the ortho says. They are going to drill a screw or two in my gums today. Actually, in about an hour and a half they are going to do this. I can handle root canals and tooth extractions, but I am not sure I can handle a little Home Depot in my mouth. I just hope they don't think of some way to put gauze in there. That is worse than metal or blood everywhere, which is sort of better than all of it put together. But of course if there is blood everywhere they will insist on using gauze and then all of my nightmares, metal, gauze, drilling in my gums, will come true.

Yesterday I missed my chance at kissing Dear Sir (I mean, the Professor) for the last time without this metallic rampart in my mouth. I think he told me that he will have to refrain from kissing me for a year (please, I hope it is just a year I need this grossness in my mouth!). And I hope he was just kidding (I am still not sure if he was or not). And if so, I am going to kick his butt. A thirty year old woman with braces never happens. Relish the moment, enjoy it, my friend.

Can you tell I am not looking forward to this? Ugh!


Mrs. Sinta said...

I was older than thirty and wearing braces. Initially it hurts and you will not want to eat anything then. Yes, you can sing, but braces seem to contribute to continual halitosis. Just don't sing up close to people.

Groovy Mom said...

Ew, dental issues make me cringe and want to shrink away. Sorry you have to deal, but I know you can.

Bee Repartee said...

Oh, and I know how you feel about pennies.

Just keep your eyes on the end result. Are you getting those braceless Invisaline braces?

Anne said...

I had braces on top and bottom - in my late twenties/early thirties. What I hate about it now is that I always have to wear a retainer - forever.

Anne said...

Oh - get a Waterpik. It does wonders for braces. You think you've got them clean and when the "pik" gets in there you see things from last week.

doozie said...

I'm guessing by the song I'm listening to while I type that the metal has not made you unable to sing