Lyrics I Will Not Sing (or I will if you twist my arm)

For my next "gig" my band and I are playing (among many other songs) a Martina McBride song. I am not a country fan, but I would like to believe that I am capable of singing a few country tunes if I have to. The song is called "I Love You" and I am sure any of you may be familiar with it. It is poppy, hip, bouncy, and hardly country. Maybe if it were more country I would like it more. I don't know. All I do know is that the past few times of singing it I can hardly get it out right. I am almost certain that Simon Cowell would say, "This song is just not the song for you. You stink. Get better taste." One would think that with my voice (not that it is some spectacular one or anything) could carry this song. I just don't think it can. The band members say it sounds fine. I think the band members sound fine. I don't.

I think I feel like I can't catch up. Yeah, it is something like that. I like sultry mellow songs---oh well.

Here are the lyrics that I can not stand: "I've known you just a week or two but baby I'm so into you I can hardly breathe..."

Look at this: a woman would KNOW how long she has known a man she can "hardly breathe" about. I determined that a man wrote that section.

Here is another lyric that I can not stand (and this is just BAD lyrics): "I never knew I could feel like this, can't hardly wait till our next kiss, you're so cool."

Oh please!!!! I thought for a little while without thinking that "cool" must have to rhyme with something because it is such a horrid line. But no, there is no real reason to put "you're so cool" in the lyric. None whatsoever. I think four people wrote this song (two men and two women) and they all had to agree that that stupid line sounded good. Come on! Wake up!

To help things out a little, the band sounds great playing this song. I think that is the only reason I am willing to continue. I have been tempted to just say gibberish instead of "you're so cool" but I realized that no one is going to notice my saying it anyway so who cares.

I think I must have a problem with particular words. Singing them and saying them. We are going to play "Moon River," which I love, but I hate how the lyric at the end says, "Huckleberry Friend." It is so cheesy and corny. I can't stand it. Morrissey (who made a recording of the song) knew well and just repeated the "just around the bend" line instead. He knew it was corny but maybe that is just because he is a depressing sort of fellow and I am probably a depressing sort of gal.

My guitarist, Ken, laughed and laughed when he heard I would not sing "Huckleberry Friend." He said my logic made no sense. I would easily sing "vegamite sandwich" in "Land Down Under" but would not sing that. My logic is correct I think. One is corny and hokey and one is funny. "You're so cool" is just stupid.