I was just playing Rumi with my oldest. He beat the living tar out of me the first game. He said just that too. "I beat the TAR out of you, Mom! I bet no one could surpass a record so strong!" The boy rarely triumphs over me at a card game (except Uno and I hate Uno!). All those years of sitting around the house as a kid playing games with my sister or just playing solitare paid off. I am shocked at how competitive I get. I remember when my kids first got the game Trouble. It is a fast-paced board game where you knock each other out and try to get "6's" in order to get back in again. For some reason kids have all the luck with dice. I remember at one point (this was a few years ago) I was so livid with anger about the stupid game because I wanted to win! What is really silly is that I was playing with my kids.
This will make my husband's eyes roll a double whammy. I remember when we were dating my brother got an x box or nintendo or something and he had this light sabre Star Wars game. If you were the best you got to be Darth Vader and just rip your opponent apart because you had all the cool tricks. My husband and I would play this game (note he was not my husband at the time) and he would just rip me to shreds every time. I was actually a really good sport at it but wanted to beat him someday. I especially hated the fact that I could never be Darth Vader because I stunk so bad at this game. Believe it or not, I would practice before he would come over and I got pretty good. I could be Darth and everything. I even learned some crazy trick that no one else knew and I became unbeatable. When I pulled this on my husband he was like, "there is no way---my control must be broken! How did you do that?!" We would be playing Darth Vader versus Darth Vader and my Darth Vader became more powerful than his Darth Vader "could possibly imagine". I really thought that it was all fun and games. Everytime I would win I would giggle and bounce around and hug my husband like he was Bob Barker on the Price is Right. I was just happy I could beat him at something. I remember one time I played Trivial Pursuit (don't do this to yourself ever!) with the man and he was the first player and his "turn" did not end until he got every wedge and won the game. No one even got a turn. He tried to teach me chess once and he plowed me down so fast I had no idea what hit me. I have tried playing Scrabble with him and I tell you, don't do this to yourself either. Somehow he always gets those 40 point triple word scores and you are essentially left in the dust with your sad little word "toy" as your only triumph because hey, you used a "Y"! In short, we never played that game again. I have since learned that it is not "cute" to do that to a guy that is used to winning.
So---when my son gloats about beating the tar out of me, sure, it hurts. Well, I guess it doesn't that bad. Besides, I think he only learned the phrase "beat the tar out" from me anyway. So I must not have learned my lesson because I still must gloat. If I can ever get my husband to play Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit with me and by some divine miracle I win, that is cause for gloating! That is a once in a life time chance to be on top of the world! I might get shot, but it would be a good death!