Putting the smack down is a bit tiring. That is what I have had to do since the Professor went back to work after his two week vacation.
This past year:
Wrinkles have developed on my forehead
a number of things have died or given up years of service including my ghetto oven and my coffee maker
And the rest is a blur.
The Girl was caught last week eating the contents of her nose while I was reading a book to her out loud. I could not believe it. In fact, it made me so angry because I remember the countless times I have struggled to get her to eat something she doesn't like the taste or texture of. Granted, she is not overly picky, but to be semi-picky and then to be PICKY (if you catch my drift) on top of it sent me over the edge.
I made her oatmeal, her meal of non-choice.
"Why did you put a banana in it?" she winced, holding a spoonful of her punishment at bay.
"To make it extra gooey---like a booger!" I hollered.
"Mom!!!"she gasped, surprised at me.
"What?" I said, "you can't eat actual food, but you can eat the taint from your nose---the accumulation of various germs piled on one another over and over...."
"Mom! Please!" she begged, looking helplessly at her spoonful of gooey, booger-like stuff.
It took her two hours to eat it. Aren't I wretched?
And now I must go get tires on my car. Ugh. Perhaps that is my "toll house" of purgatory-like punishment. Perhaps.
Green Cathedral
Madness in a high-ceilinged building.
Followers
People in my Holy Place
The Professor----Formerly known as Dear Sir, my husband, the man of the house
The Oldest----Known in younger years as Mickey Mouse, and now he is embracing adulthood by being over 18.
Eraser Eater----Well-known for his old habit of eating erasers and whining about ridiculous things. Now he eats Tabasco sauce and says little in his 15 years.
The Girl---The one who is still more mature than I am at 13.
The Oldest----Known in younger years as Mickey Mouse, and now he is embracing adulthood by being over 18.
Eraser Eater----Well-known for his old habit of eating erasers and whining about ridiculous things. Now he eats Tabasco sauce and says little in his 15 years.
The Girl---The one who is still more mature than I am at 13.
12 comments:
Ew. Whenever I catch one of my kids picking their nose I suggest they save the boogers all up so they can eat them by the spoonful. Sometimes I'll say, "Hey, want another? I can probably find one in my nose." I don't know why those things gross them out, but their own boogers don't. Maybe it's the same concept as smelling farts. Others are always somehow more offensive than our own.
Oooh. Your a great mom. :o)
You know, you have a way with words.
you're funny..
lol
Oh, I am laughing so hard! I have a book called "Creative Correction" that I've read little of. I think you should have written the book instead. You are a GENIUS!
Oh geez...I can't wait for my turn to do that. Thanks for the "parenting tips".
BLECH.
I'm already dying and then I read Jen's comment!
My girl just wipes them on the wall that her bed is up against. Then has the audacity to get angry with me when I point it out to her. Like I'M doing something wrong.
gosh.
I am sorry about your ghetto oven. Did you get a new one? A photographic tour of the new oven would be of great interest to all of us. We don't get out much.
I am going to try this with my boys...
I've never had to deal with a booger picker or eater. I don't think I could deal with it. It's horrifying.
I finally got the title of this post...I had forgotten my last comment. wow
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