1/07/2009

Doozie Was Almost Right

Putting the smack down is a bit tiring. That is what I have had to do since the Professor went back to work after his two week vacation.

This past year:

Wrinkles have developed on my forehead
a number of things have died or given up years of service including my ghetto oven and my coffee maker
And the rest is a blur.

The Girl was caught last week eating the contents of her nose while I was reading a book to her out loud. I could not believe it. In fact, it made me so angry because I remember the countless times I have struggled to get her to eat something she doesn't like the taste or texture of. Granted, she is not overly picky, but to be semi-picky and then to be PICKY (if you catch my drift) on top of it sent me over the edge.

I made her oatmeal, her meal of non-choice.
"Why did you put a banana in it?" she winced, holding a spoonful of her punishment at bay.
"To make it extra gooey---like a booger!" I hollered.
"Mom!!!"she gasped, surprised at me.
"What?" I said, "you can't eat actual food, but you can eat the taint from your nose---the accumulation of various germs piled on one another over and over...."
"Mom! Please!" she begged, looking helplessly at her spoonful of gooey, booger-like stuff.

It took her two hours to eat it. Aren't I wretched?

And now I must go get tires on my car. Ugh. Perhaps that is my "toll house" of purgatory-like punishment. Perhaps.

12 comments:

Jen - Queen of Poo said...

Ew. Whenever I catch one of my kids picking their nose I suggest they save the boogers all up so they can eat them by the spoonful. Sometimes I'll say, "Hey, want another? I can probably find one in my nose." I don't know why those things gross them out, but their own boogers don't. Maybe it's the same concept as smelling farts. Others are always somehow more offensive than our own.

J said...

Oooh. Your a great mom. :o)

Uncle Joe said...

You know, you have a way with words.
you're funny..
lol

bristowmom said...

Oh, I am laughing so hard! I have a book called "Creative Correction" that I've read little of. I think you should have written the book instead. You are a GENIUS!

Mandi said...

Oh geez...I can't wait for my turn to do that. Thanks for the "parenting tips".

thislittlepiggy said...

BLECH.

Anne said...

I'm already dying and then I read Jen's comment!

My girl just wipes them on the wall that her bed is up against. Then has the audacity to get angry with me when I point it out to her. Like I'M doing something wrong.

Uncle Joe said...

gosh.

Mrs. Sinta said...

I am sorry about your ghetto oven. Did you get a new one? A photographic tour of the new oven would be of great interest to all of us. We don't get out much.

Dapoppins said...

I am going to try this with my boys...

The Doozie said...

I've never had to deal with a booger picker or eater. I don't think I could deal with it. It's horrifying.

The Doozie said...

I finally got the title of this post...I had forgotten my last comment. wow