I Feel Numb

Yesterday my left finger just went numb. It was not cold, it just has lost a lot of feeling. A little tingly. I think I have been playing my new Martin so much my nerve got damaged. Is that not insane? It is still numb today.

And I wrote a song the other day----I woke up to it playing in my head, from a dream, and I got up, half asleep, to plunk it out on the piano. I don't play piano, I just know the notes. I don't know theory either. My son caught me (my Oldest) and said, "Mom, it would be a lot easier to score it."

"Yeah," I said, "That would be useful if I could read music and I knew theory."

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

I had a friend ask me once if I wrote anything other than Christian music. "Sure," I said. But I could hardly think of anything that I had written. I started to play a song for her called "In the Aftermath" that I wrote, and when I sang "Jesus" she laughed out loud and said, "You really don't sing about anything else!" Sadly enough, I had forgotten that Jesus was in the lyric.

I get to the point in songwriting where I hit a brick wall. It is when I want to write a love song, or when I want to write about something other than God. I can flip open a Psalm and write a decent adaptation of it in two minutes, but when I want to write about how much, say, I love the Professor, I slam right up against the bricks. I am much too serious, I guess, to sing "silly love songs" (BTW I HATE that song by McCartney).

And the thing is, I wanted to say to my friend, "You know, it is not like I am a great Christian anyway, it is just the only thing good that I can do." My best "secular" song yet I think, is "Enough is Enough". And I don't even know if I could qualify it as secular. In a way, that is silly.

It is a joy to write music. But to me, it is also a sort of thorn in my side. Where will it go?

At any rate, the song got semi-finished yesterday, and perhaps I will put it on YouTube for you all to listen to. It is not amazing, just a worship song---the words could be more unique, but hey, I wrote it in a matter of minutes, so consider it a work in progress.

Gotta literally run.


Groovy Mom said...

When I wrote songs I hit the same sort of brick wall. Mine were always about hope and joy and God and dreams. I wanted to write something raw and edgy, but didn't have an edgy bone in my body, I guess. Frustrating.

doozie said...

Well I consider it pretty amazing that you can write songs at all. If I were to attempt that everyone would probably run screaming.

Uncle Joe said...

When I haven't played guitar in a while the tips of my fingers go numb.
Then I redevelop the calluses that I lost and for the most part the problem goes away.
Also I have to use lighter strings sometimes.

R said...

Uncle Joe---I am numb from my knuckle all the way to the tip of my finger, not just the callous area, which I have plenty of callouses. It comes from (I think) playing an Em/D thing (I am not sure what it is----I don't really care), but I have to wrap my index finger all the way up (I have very short fingers) and it pinches something when I do it.