The Spice

I don't think I am a health nut; I ate lemon meringue pie yesterday for breakfast because there is nearly half a pie left sitting in the fridge. I don't even suggest anyone take a piece for dessert again. It wounds me. It hurts too bad.

Really, actually, whatever.

So, back to my semi-health nutness. I love Cliff bars, I have found a love for Almond, soy, and rice milk (of all the blasted things!), and I actually like....(gag) Boca Burgers (aka--soy burgers). A friend of mine recently turned me on to them---actually, to all of that stuff, and I have been buying it. Well, I am a little afraid, if you get me. No, you don't. I haven't told you what I am afraid of. Well, I have, but I am afraid of many things. Meat is scaring me, to be frank. Meat, I know. My friend told me that if a person has ever eaten pork (she freely eats meat, she was just telling me some scientific fact) they have worms. Worms, people. Ever since she told me that those pork chops I bought a month ago are still sitting in the freezer.

So I probably have worms. I hate worms! When I was a kid, I had to turn my head when that guy on Dune rode on the big huge ones. The spice is the worm, the worm is the spice. Flipping allspice reminds me of worms. I don't eat shrimp because they look like worms. If you say worms when I am eating spaghetti I suddenly lose all interest. I nearly fainted when I had to dissect a worm. The biggest worm I have ever seen, that is. --Besides the one on Dune.

I told Dear Sir about my scare, and he said, "paranoia will destroy ya."

A lot of help he is.

Imagine if you ate potatoes or something it would give you spiders. Well, that was sort of a dumb analogy, but it is the same sort of fear.

And then I heard about dogs and how they carry tons of parasites and whatnot---they kiss you with their tongue and suddenly Johnny has contracted worms, people!

I'm done talking about this.

I was reading on Carolanne's blog and her readability is high school. Well, la di da! I stupidly or actually, retardedly (look, I created a word!) plugged in my url for that madness. Junior High.

I'm in shambles.