Sop

I wake up nearly every night afraid that the grill was left on and I have wasted all the propane. I did that once or twice and I have never been cured of the after-effects. I jolt awake for some unknown reason, and then I immediately think of the grill. Did I forget something? My mind immediately goes there.

The other night I had a dream about my Girl and she was singing to me in some high-pitched soaring sort of lilt and I jolted awake. It took me a good second or two to realize that the tail end of Someone's soft snore was the sing-songy tune I heard in my dream. When I emailed the Man later to tell him what had happened he said, "what can I say, I even produce music in my sleep!" Come on. Anyway, the thoughts that entered my mind once I let go of the fact that my Girl was not truly singing to me but my sleeping Sir was instead, was the filthy dirty bathroom floors at the pool. My mind went directly to the floors there and how gelatinously disgusting and slimy they are. I remember earlier that day I took the neighbor girl to the pool along with me and the kids and she had to go to the bathroom. She did not bring her sandals but went in her bare feet and I remember looking at her feet in despair and concern, wondering if I should pick her up instead of allowing her to get tainted like that. My mind went from the floors to realizing the folly of wearing my sandals in there.

Believe it or not, my thoughts continued on and got worse. Not only would the bottoms of my sandals get tainted, I would be a stupid idiot and continue to walk on other grounds with them and then walk in my house with the filth on the bottom of my feet. Those Asians really have something there. They know stuff. I kept thinking about my carpet and how many vile germs from the bowels of hell itself full of wrath and sin would be lingering on my carpet, ready to enter my children's rectums by way of their sitting on the bare floor. Oh yes, but they would have clothes on. But suppose they have just underwear on or their swimming suits? I vowed that I would wash my feet and my family's feet before entering bed every night from there on out so the germs would not follow them to their sheets and creep in their beds and haunt them in their sleep. Oh good grief, I would clean the stinking carpet the next day in great haste, no matter what I had planned.

And yes, those thoughts, the thoughts full of resolve, like washing feet and cleaning carpet, were the only thoughts that would allow my mind to wander and drift back into sleep, the kingdom of whistling voices and spiraling clouds of whispering slumber.

I have crazy thoughts at night.

Last night we went to small group for our church and I had issues with going barefoot in the house because that is how they did things there. Barefoot? I thought. I felt a little self-conscious in my bare feet, Dear Sir was running around in his socks, we all felt a little naked. Of course, the woman of the house is Asian and knows her stuff. Her customs are to do such things and this is smart. But do I have the guts to do this in my own home? No...good grief, I thought, I could never do this.

It would so feed my Howard Hughes tendencies and it would not be good.