Reading a Medical Manual Always Helps

I just got up about an hour ago with little sleep under my belt....at least I got some the night before. Maybe it was the combination of the cough syrup and the benadryl that gave way to the zzzs. I forsook the allergy pill because I thought I was clear enough in my head; I was feeling better last night, but my voice was still craggy.

I skipped band practice because of my inability to sing (I even tried in the shower and started to laugh at myself---how pathetic). I did take the kids to the pool to get them entertained since now they are not sick anymore. It was so hot but then I felt cold because I had all this Sudafed in my system. And then I got a sunburn like an idiot.

I had this whole post about how kids are mean to my kids but I deleted it. The Oldest just read over my shoulder (a complete no-no) and so out of respect for him I guess I will not go there.

Since I have been unwell and all that I had some sherbet for dessert the other night. I was scooping it all out and plopping it on a cone when the Oldest approached me with longing eyes.
"Hey," I said, "This is mine. Quit begging. I am sick, and this has essential vitamin C to boost my immune system."

He widened his eyes with delight and smacked his lips. Oh brother, I thought. This kid just loves food. He even begs for meatloaf.

"But Mom," he held out his hands as if he were in prayer, "please...."

I gave him a nice long look meaning nope.

"But Mom, I am suffering from scurvy this very instant! I have a lack of vitamins and minerals!" He put his arms above his head and wiggled to the ground like the Wicked Witch of the West, after water was dumped on her.

I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. He stood up and chuckled a little looking about him.
"Were you laughing at me?" he said.

Yes. Who the heck else would know about scurvy at his age? Good grief, he knows too much.

I looked back in the archives at this silly little story:

You Know, All That Crazy Stuff

Dinner with my kids can be hilarious sometimes when I am not on their backs to stop talking with food in their mouths or to use their napkin. For some reason last night they were arguing (the boys were) about whether "girls rule" or "boys rule". I know, stupid, but this is what kids talk about. My oldest (he is nine) argued that they "both rule" because they have different functions. He continued to say, "Well, don't get me wrong or anything, I kind of like girls, but I don't care about getting married or sex or any of that crazy stuff."

As you may well imagine, I almost choked.

I did a sort of double take like, "What did you say?" He repeated it. He did ask at one time what sex meant (a long time ago---he loves to read medical manuals) , but he used the word so casually. It was hilarious.

He continued to say, "Yeah, and I'm not going to be one of those teenagers who have posters of girls on their walls either!"

I said, "Where did you get that from?"

He said, "Oh, I don't know, I just know that for some reason."

I said, "Well, that is lust anyway and I would not allow it."

My youngest son said, "Yeah, it would be funny if real girls were hanging from the walls!" Then he proceeded to imitate a girl hanging from a wall saying, "help me!" in a falsetto. He realized what I had said just then. He said, "What is lust?"

I said, "Lust is wanting something you can't have."

So my oldest son said, "Yeah, like, you know, the lust of the flesh!"

I about died.