Pickin' on Stuff

We all went to a strawberry patch today. Probably at the worst time in the day because it was so stinking hot, but it was great. To just be more on the warm side I wore black and kept my hair down. How's that for getting the sweat dripping down my face as I stoop to gather berries?

The Oldest could not keep quiet during the whole ordeal. "This one is marvelous!" "Beautiful!" "You will never believe this one!" "Gorgeous!" "Juicy!" "Simply Splendid!" I tell you, the exclamations never ended, the boy was about as chipper as he could be. And all in his Mickey Mouse voice. He stood back and admired every single strawberry until I just gave up and ignored him. Let the sweat drip down my nose as I hunted through the plants.

Eraser Eater was on a mission. Typically that boy is the laziest child you will ever meet, often lying down on the floor saying he can't get up, but golly, he was on it today. He was a strawberry picking fool. I did pretty well and he nearly got as much as me and the Oldest combined. Of course, if the Oldest hadn't stroked each strawberry, gave them names and talked about them all until his tongue dried up, we would have really gotten somewhere.

The Girl was next to useless as far as picking went. She was with her cousin and when these two girls get together they form some pink, powdery power team of prissiness. It is kind of refreshing at times when I need someone to find something like a bottle of ketchup on the door of the fridge, for these prissy feminine minis can find it, you just call it out. Boys, on the other hand, don't know the nose on their faces and can find pretty much SQUAT. That is why the allergy pill loss really got to me. I CAN FIND ANYTHING. When I could not find them I freaked out. How can I not find this? I say over and over. The thing is, a boy misplaced it and there you have it, he couldn't even remember where he put it. And it was in an odd place, like, on top of the cabinets in the kitchen so the Girl could not get to them. I don't know what got me on to that. Oh yes, prissiness....girls....yes, yes. Uselessness....I remember. See, I forget stuff too.

As I drove down a road today I saw a disheveled, barefoot woman in pajamas. I had to drive by slow because she was walking in the middle of the road. More like wobbling in the middle of the road. As I drove by her I looked at her face and she had a maniacal sort of expression so I thought better of trying to help her out. I had kids in the car. What was the deal with that? Maybe she was mentally impaired? Maybe she had been trapped in some sick man's basement for years and just escaped so she was sensitive to the light? Now I feel really bad I didn't get her.

I realized I am dogging men like crazy on this post. Sorry men. I do love you. I just feel liberated for some reason. Wanna arm wrestle?