In the Frozen Deep

So I went to Costco today and took the sick kids with me. We were severely running out of goods, so we had to go. I had a mind to spend hundreds. When you do that, upon getting home, hundreds of muscles ache because you are the one stuck loading it, unloading it, and putting it away. It was especially scary because the snow here is just pure ice, like walking on a frozen lake. Eraser Eater took a turn outside without my knowing it and when I went to get the mail, I turned to see him racing toward me, skidding on the ice in his boots, and biffing it flat on his face. It reminded me of A Christmas Story. He cried and I had no sympathy as usual. He was fine though, thankfully enough.

As I was walking around with the cart though, I noticed that my toes were numb. I couldn't even feel them even slightly. I have been so cold lately that my fingers are purple quite a bit.

I think I am a hypochondriac because my son is standing here right now complaining of a mysterious pain when he coughs, and he wishes for me to look up his symptoms in the medical manual. He always diagnoses himself with various little things. Dear Sir always shakes his head and says, "I think you will die in your sleep tonight." The oldest is very literal, so he always gets this deer caught in headlights look on his face and falls for it every time.

He also got the deer caught in headlights look the other night when he discovered a fly in his bedroom. Why the flies are not dead when it is so cold, I don't know. He flipped out like usual, cried for a decent spell, and I had to save the day with a magazine because go figure, I don't have a fly swatter anymore. Lost it in the move. That fly was meaty and intrepid too. I had to HACK at it to get it to die. It would sit there stupidly and then crawl a little in a crack and there I was, blowing death upon it with a folded Economist Magazine in a downward jabbing motion.

Now he is running around with his new dollar store gun, clicking away, driving me crazy. He dared to pull the thing out at Costco and grace us with the lovely sound directly in the ear. I was quick to confiscate it.

My daughter is at the moment wearing her little halter under shirt with Cinderella on it while donning a Hello Kitty pillowcase as her mermaid tail. She is squirming around the floor and that means I have to go and take care of this. I am freezing.