Cell Phones

I have a sad fact to admit to all of you in the technological world we live in: I don't have a cell phone.

What really bugs me is that with any form I have to fill out for a doctor, credit card, job application---you name it, any form, you are asked for your cell phone number. I don't have one. I have to admit to every person that I don't. People look at me weird too.

Well, you know what? I think you cell phone freaks are weird. Especially the cell phone freaks that have those ones on your ears like some sort of Star Trek implant. I almost laugh whenever I see someone donning one of those things. I think practically every time I see one of you people out there that you are insane and talking to yourself.

Of course, not having a cell phone definitely has its downsides. Like, for instance, I am trying to meet Dear Sir tonight at the shopping center by the freeway, not far from here when he gets off work. We had to steadily plan this just now because hey, we can't just whip out a phone on the way there to say, "Hey babe, I am at the corner of Robinson and Turner right now. In three lights I will be where you are at. I'll flash my lights to get your attention." It just doesn't happen.

"What time do you think you will be over there?"

"Uh, probably six. If I am lucky I can get in quickly to get my haircut and be outta there by six thirty. Maybe...."

"So, should I meet you at the hair place?"

"Well, you don't have to. Well, I guess, yes. Try to meet me there at six and do what errands you have to run before that in case I am not done in time..."


This is the kind of dialogue we have well before the actual happening. It gets frustrating. One time I was trying to meet Dear Sir at a really hole in the wall hamburger joint and we were right in the front as he sped right past us. If I had a phone I could have said, "Turn around, buddy." Or better yet, I could have said to him BEFORE he drove by to look to his left and he would not have driven by.

But, I must say, I think some phone people that even use the regular little phones are annoying. They talk loud, talk about stupid things like shampoo and I just wonder, what the heck do they have to say to someone who is probably sitting at home not caring about whether or not they buy Suave or Pantene? Plus, the call is usually always broken up anyway. I dread sometimes the calls I get from people that use a cell phone. "Huh?" I am always saying.
"I--pt---scr----age----ip--ta---" That is kind of what it is like on my end.

My dear friend who calls me on her cell phone does have the presence of mind to tell me before she hits a bad place, "Rach, I am getting to a place right now where I am always cutting off. If I start to do that, just hang up and call me at home in ten minutes."

Dear Sir tells me that the first thing people do before they go into work and right after they leave it (in the parking lot) is call someone on their cell phones. Why?

I can't stand driving behind someone talking on one either. They usually cut people off because they don't want to turn their heads because they have the phone on their ear!

I admit, if it weren't for cell phones some of my friends would not call me as much as they would want to. They usually call me on the way to some place. "Well, I just pulled into the mall, so I better go..."

Cell phones are good for some things.

Now, if I were driving home alone late at night and the car breaks down on the highway, I would be up the creek. Thankfully, I could flag anyone down driving by and they would have a cell phone.